


Honey Just Put Your Sweet Lips On My Lips

by RosellaWrites



Series: It’s Not the Waking, It’s the Rising [1]
Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Rosalie Hale, Black Bella Swan, Blood and Violence, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/F, Lesbian Sex, Lesbian Vampires, No Lesbians Die, Past Rape/Non-con, Psychological Trauma, Trans Male Character, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:40:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 26
Words: 40,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26278054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosellaWrites/pseuds/RosellaWrites
Summary: When Bella Swan unearths Rosalie after a rockslide, the last thing the vampire expected was to fall in love. Once they began dating, however, the situation became even more complicated than Rosalie could have ever imagined.In which Rosalie is still recovering from trauma and betrayal, Bella is graduated and independent, and the Cullens just want Rose to settle down already.Some aspects of canon are kept. Edward is a feral fuckwad with a redemption arc, Jasper is trans and in love with Emmett, Carlisle and Esme are cottagecore couplehood incarnate, and Rosalie is made of anger and engine oil. Bella is all things good and sweet, as she should be.
Relationships: Rosalie Hale/Bella Swan
Series: It’s Not the Waking, It’s the Rising [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2110140
Comments: 129
Kudos: 452





	1. Time to Hunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why were you digging / what did you bury / before those hands pulled me / from the earth?"
> 
> Entire fic inspired from this single line from Hozier's "Like Real People Do." (Because what kind of lesbian love story would this be without Hozier?)

_Gorgeous. Just dazzling. My hair is so sleek today. I'm so glad this window was so perfectly placed - the easier to admire myself with._

At the wheel, holding Alice's hand, Edward sighed deeply. I flicked a glance his way, paired with the slimmest of smiles.

It was the last day of high school. We were _finally_ free - for a decade at least - from the disgusting company that is human teenagers. The way some of those boys stared and leered... it reminded me of Royce and his friends all over again.

Edward twitched at the violent thoughts flickering through my head. The way I went through each of them - tearing, torturing, impaling - gave me nothing but pleasure in retrospect. I was frozen this way, stuck in the same head that I was in when they raped and destroyed my poor body... why should they have had the chance to move on and forget, with their disgustingly plastic minds and flesh suits?

They didn't deserve the chance.

 _"Enough,_ Rose."

His whisper was hardly audible, even to vampiric ears, but the entire car turned to look at me.

"I hate it when he does that," Emmett muttered.

I scoffed. "I can't exactly have any privacy, Edward. Get bent."

Emmett just let a rumbling laugh vibrate the seat. Jasper, seated between us, just leaned into Emmett's body with a small smile.

Jasper, of all of us, had had the most interesting entry into the vampire world. He'd been born not a Jasper, but a Jane - and in the depths of the rebel south, Janes had no option but to marry terrible men and create terrible children.

When Jasper's husband, who'd married him when he was but a cis-presenting girl of 17, didn't return from the Civil War, Jasper had secretly rejoiced. It wasn't until his "mourning" period was over that he realized his parents had found him a match yet again... this time to his second cousin, an ancient jowl-shaker who'd outlived three wives before Jasper himself.

Unwilling to go through the torture of the marriage bed again, Jasper ran away on his honeymoon. It was in the Texan wastes, dehydrated and on the verge of death, that Maria had found him.

Jasper had never been feminine. It was obvious from when he was a child, refusing his laces and corsets and demanding britches. His parents never understood. But Maria, with one look at this wasting 19-year-old in the sand, knew exactly what would happen when she sunk her teeth into him. And so, with gusto, she created Jasper.

The venom had made him into the most beautiful, true version of himself, just as it had done to me. It took away his despised breasts, his feminine chin, his narrow shoulders. It transformed the abused vagina he'd hated into an organ that was wholly his - untouched by a single human husband he'd ever had. And when he awoke, he sported a fantastic goatee to match his long, golden hair.

He still wore that goatee, years after leaving Maria's coven. Emmett said it gave him character, and from the first day he lay eyes on the big, burly vampire he'd never shaved it.

Emmett leaned down to kiss the top of Jasper's golden head. I saw Alice smile from the corner of my eye, then turn that same dazzling smile on Edward. All he did was tighten his grip on her hand.

"We need to hunt tomorrow," she said in her trilling voice.

He gazed into her eyes and nodded.


	2. Rock-Slide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper and Rosalie set out to hunt on Mount Rainier and run into a spot of trouble.

We hunted in twos and threes.

Tomorrow was graduation ( _finally_ ), and we needed to be fed to endure it. At least, I did. I'd never drunk human blood, but those children tried my patience every single day.

Alice, Edward, and Emmett went together into the depths of the western forests, searching for bear. Jasper and I opted to stay close to home - Mt Rainier, if that's really considered "close" - to search for elk. The beasts, while huge and imposing to humans, were such elegant creatures to the both of us that I couldn't help but admire them. One was enough for both of us.

Jasper and I set off, barefoot, through the ferns that lined the forest floor. The rush of running, the wind that brought so many smells upon it, sent us both into some sort of high. With a giggle, Jasper flamed it higher and higher until my eyes rolled back with exhilaration.

"You'll run into a tree like that," Jasper laughed. It had a higher timbre than Emmett's, but I enjoyed it all the more for its open sincerity. Emmett chose to use his beautiful laugh to mock me far too often.

My feet, sensitive to every stone, loamy lump of dirt, shifting cliff, and hidden puddle, all but flew for miles. I even scaled a tree or two to show Jasper I could, and earned a peal of laughter from him each time. His black eyes followed me and my antics with nothing but merriment.

"Do you ever get tired of this?" I finally asked him.

Trees whipped by between us. "Of _hunting?_ "

"No. Just... being. You've been this way for nearly a hundred years longer than I have. How do you stand it?"

Jasper's sincere laugh turned into a short, dark chuckle. "I'm the wrong person to ask, Rose. You know that."

I thought again to the sketch Edward had shared when he'd received Jasper's memories of being Jane. Jane was slight, tiny, afraid. Eyes were black dinner plates in a too-thin face. Why _would_ Jasper want to go back to that?

"I guess you're right," I finally mumbled.

His brows drew together, and his smile faded. "Hey. Chin up. I know your human life was the complete opposite of mine. I don't blame you for holding on to it."

Royce's face entered my mind again. His eyes when he'd looked at me - how he'd held my elbow in public - how I'd felt, standing there as his prize. And then when he'd betrayed it all.

Jasper must have felt my agitation and pain. He took a deep, rough swallow (his Adam's apple hopped), but he didn't make an effort to turn my emotions into something more palatable. He knew I needed to feel this.

Jasper had only been with us for two years. And in that short amount of time it felt that he knew me better than even Esme did.

I then heard his breath hitch. He pointed.

Elk.

We took off after the musky scent of it.

* * *

They were further up the mountain than we thought. They were no match for us as far as speed was concerned, but their smell was everywhere... and they'd somehow tucked themselves into a precarious locale.

Jasper hissed, finally, "We have to cut them off and flush them out. I'll wait here - you're faster."

I just nodded, reached back to bind my dirty hair into a tail, and took off. We'd made this maneuver a thousand times before, he and I. This time would be no different.

The sun peeked briefly from the cloud cover, casting prisms from my skin onto the ground as my legs flashed in motion. I wore simple shorts and a tee today (not that it mattered for movement), so I didn't mind letting it get dirty. As I approached the edge of a steep decline, I simply threw myself down it bodily. I trusted the slope of the mountain to carry me down and around in a loop, knowing this southern section like the back of my hand.

Rocks slid beneath me, casting up the fine dirt beneath. I found myself within a cloud of tumbling debris, and simply closed my mouth and stopped breathing.

The airborne dirt grew thicker, soon blocking out my view of the sky. _How annoying._ I reached behind me, clawing for purchase in the liquid ground, looking for a way to steer. I found none.

"Rosalie!"

I couldn't answer - not without taking a mouthful of earth.

"Rosalie there's - there's a _person_ out here! What do I do?"

 _Shit._ Jasper wasn't quite as good around the humans yet as the rest of us - and especially not while we were hunting. We should've triple checked for humans, at least smelled the place... but without Edward to detect their thoughts, our human-detection methods weren't perfect.

My irritation was soon replaced by concern. I wasn't slowing down. I should've entered the curve of the turn around the mountain by now, but it almost seemed like I was speeding up.

Goddammit. I'd started a rock-slide. And there was a _human_ here to witness it.

Emmett would never let me hear the end of it.


	3. Her Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She meets the human hiker.

The slide carried me so much farther than I expected it would. At first I attempted to fight, but it was like trying to climb a waterfall - I could've technically done it, but it would've been so much easier to just flow downstream. So I stopped breathing, closed my eyes, and let it happen.

From the feeling of dirt and stones flowing under, beside, and over me, I slid a few miles down the mountain. By the time I came to a stop (or, rather, the mountain stopped moving), my arms were pinned beneath me, it was pitch black, and the weight of thousands of pounds of earth pinned me to thousands more pounds of earth beneath.

It was almost peaceful under here. Quiet. Dark.

There was no Edward here to chide me for the nastiest of my thoughts. No Carlisle to look at me with thinly disguised guilt. No Esme to fuss over me and try to get involved in my life. No Emmett and Jasper, with their limitless love for one another, just rubbing it in my face. No Alice and Edward with their disgusting goo-goo eyes of love and constant hand-holding. Just me, myself, and my rage-filled brain buried under half of Mount Rainier.

Maybe if Carlisle had left me to die, this is how it would've been. Just my own brain, in a broken human body, buried in the dirt. Was there a heaven for human consciousnesses to go to? Did they just... dissipate upon their deaths, like so much cigarette smoke? Or did they stay, conscious of their dead bodies, trapped underground until their brains finally succumbed to the worms?

It may have been ten minutes. It may have been a day. But, either way, my semi-peaceful reverie was interrupted by... digging?

A grunt. A human grunt. Shifting rocks, scrabbling fingers, then finally a shovel, chipping at mud and rocks. I just lay there, frozen, terrified that I would be found. Maybe even more terrified that I wouldn't be, that I'd lay here forever, lacking the will to extricate myself at all.

It didn't matter. It was out of my hands, because a thin pinprick of light slid down to strike my closed lids, lighting them up like a bulb behind a cotton sheet. Dirt rained down on my face.

A warm human hand reached down between the rocks, as if to brush dirt out of the way, and shied away from the frigidity of my skin.

"What the - what the _fuck?"_

The hands grew more frantic, brushing dirt from the creases of my face like those of an archaeologist, unearthing a long-dead mummy. I was long-dead, of course, but I couldn't take this anymore. I opened my eyes.

A pair of deep brown eyes stared right back at me, set into an even deeper brown face. A box braid slipped from behind this human's ear, and she pushed it back as if it had personally offended her.

"Are you - " her voice was sweet. It slid into my ears like honey. "Are you _alive_ down there?"

I just blinked the dirt from my lashes. I thought back to my family, the two years we'd spent in Forks, the decade we hoped to live here. Graduation tomorrow. Freedom, finally, from high school. If I ruined it now, we started over.

But I'd already ruined it. This human had witnessed me surviving a rock-slide.

"I'm alright, don't worry," I finally decided to say. No use quipping about the use of the word "alive," no matter how much I wanted to.

The human reached down, touched my face once more. "You're so cold. I'm getting you out of there."

Her face disappeared from the hole she'd dug, and I heard more digging sounds.

I couldn't leave her to do all the work. It would take hours. So I ever so slightly wriggled my indestructible body, disturbing the dirt so it looked like she was accomplishing more than she really was. When she wasn't looking, I hauled my torso most of the way out of the little hole she'd created.

"There was a pocket," I said.

She whipped around. "Oh!"

"Yeah. Somehow I just... rode the dirt down, but got trapped in a little pocket of earth. A miracle, I guess."

She just frowned at me. I made note of the little 'v' her brows made when they met - a little crease of concern.

The human was a stocky little thing. She was dressed in a pair of overalls and yellow leather construction boots, laced only halfway up. The cuffs of her pant legs were only half-tucked into the shoes. Otherwise, despite the cold this far north, she only wore a thick plaid shirt and a white tank top. Her black box braids were tied back in a bandanna, but one braid kept coming loose and falling in her face. Her attempts to push it behind her ear were... endearing.

She reached forward to brush stones and dirt from around my waist. When she came near, her smell washed over me - an intense, delicious waft of tantalizing blood, pounding just beneath the surface, somehow floral and sweet, like what I remembered wine to be...

No.

I shook my head, blinked, then set to work helping her. Soon I was able to climb free - well, I was a while ago, but if I were limited to human powers I'd hit a reasonable point of unearthedness - and stood before her, covered in dirt and mud and bits of mountain moss. I noted with a strange feeling of fondness that I was a good head and a half taller than her.

She just looked at me, her bottomless eyes wide. "You really are okay. Not a scratch. And how can you stand being out here without clothes? No _shoes_?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but by some miracle came my name, floating down the mountain -

"Rosalie!" And Jasper came galloping down.


	4. Discussion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jazz makes a promise.

Jasper was holding back - pretending, for the human‘s sake, that he was struggling down the mountain. She just watched him with a frown, the pronounced ‘v’ between her eyes looking more endearing the more I looked at her. 

“Rosalie, what on earth - “ he stopped, twenty feet away, as if hitting a wall. His throat flexed.

“Oh! Yeah, that…” I tried to cover for him, “looks like when I tried to make it up to take a picture of that elk, I just… slipped. It’s a miracle she found me.”

I gestured carelessly at the human beside me. Jasper’s eyes widened infinitesimally, as if trying to convey the fact that he could come no closer. His throat flexed once, twice, then his jaw gritted and nostrils narrowed. 

His eyes, though, were such a light gold. So he  _ had _ managed to nab an elk or two, despite witnessing my unfortunate fall. At least he had his priorities in order. 

“Hi!” the human said, her brow still creased but a smile slowly spreading across her face. Her teeth were blindingly white.

“I’m Bella, by the way,” she went on. “Who are you guys? And what on earth are you doing out here?” 

She turned to me, and I swore I saw her gaze slide down to my bare leg. The cogs in her brain whirred behind her deep brown eyes again. 

“I’m Rosalie. This is my brother, Jasper. We’re from Forks, just on a wildlife hike. We uh… we decided to take a little hike on the wild side when the rock-slide happened. Feel the earth on our skin and all that. Too bad our clothes and shoes are buried under the mountain now.”

She stared at me. I don’t think I’d convinced her.

“Forks, huh?” she said, her smile slowly growing again. “My dad lives there. I should come back and say hi again. Plus, you guys owe me for saving your ass, I guess. Maybe we should… “  _ did her eyes flick to my legs again?  _ “Catch some grub at the cornerhouse?” 

Jasper’s eyes widened, but he had enough air left in his lungs to croak, “Sounds good.”

_ What? Jazz!  _


	5. Seeing Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosalie and Jasper return home.

I could hear the uproar at the house from a mile away. Literally, a mile.

Before, the reaction may have bothered me. But for some reason I couldn't bring myself to care. _Is this how Edward feels all the time?_

As we came into view of the massive Victorian style home, meticulously restored by Esme and myself, the door slammed open and Edward emerged. His face was crumpled with rage. Close behind him was Alice, her brow furrowed and her eyes slightly glazed. She reached a hand out blindly for Edward, but he ignored her.

"Rosalie," he growled, "what were you _thinking?_ "

Jasper put an arm out in front of me, his hand soft and open against my arm as if to assure me. "It wasn't her fault, Edward. Be calm."

Waves of weariness billowed out from him, nearly reducing all of us to exhausted lumps on the ground. But Edward just roared and braced his feet.

_"Stop_ manipulating us! You freak!"

Jasper jerked. If I could've mustered the energy to raise my eyes to meet his, I knew I'd see utter betrayal.

"Edward!" Alice's strident voice rang out.

He whipped around to face her. "No! You saw it!"

The artificial exhaustion lifted and Jasper dropped his protective pose.

Alice just shook her head, still gazing into nothing. "I saw a human. And she's decided, so it's changed."

Ice ran through my limbs. "Alice, what the _fuck_ are you talking about?"

She just shook her head again, finally focusing on my face. "Come inside."

* * *

Esme and Carlisle had gone on their own hunting trip, so it was just us children. _Ha. Children._ Emmett sat in his La-Z-Boy chair in the far corner of the parlour, shaking with laughter and shaking his head. Alice perched on the sofa and patted the cushion beside her, where Edward plopped, moodily. He crossed his arms and refused to look at me.

I remained standing, while Jasper took the corner seat of the sofa. He cringed as far away from Edward as physically possible.

I spread my arms. "So what, am I on trial or something? Alice, what did you see that made Eddy-boy so mad?"

Edward hissed. _Seriously, did this boy think he was a cat? What a fucking pussy._ At that thought, his expression grew even darker.

"Rosalie," Alice sighed, "I saw that rock-slide begin when you decided to cut off the elk. But we couldn't make it to you in time to stop - "

"Stop what?" I laughed. "What would've happened to me? I'm indestructible! I don't breathe, I don't get crushed, I don't even scratch. I could've stayed under that mountain forever, and with this reception... I wish I had."

" _Rose._ I saw the human." Her gaze grew more intense, nearly pleading. "I watched you kill her. I watched Jazz kill her. I saw a million different ways of it going wrong."

My bare foot tapped irritably, showering dust on Esme's polished floor. "But I didn't. And you came home, instead of coming to us, if I may point out."

"Because _Emmett,_ " Edward spat, "wanted to see how it would play out."

Emmett finally looked up, eyes bright. "What? Don't look at me! You've gotta let folks make their own mistakes."

_Stop._ "I wouldn't have killed her."

"I didn't know that," Alice said. "It wasn't until... something changed in you. I don't know what, but there's only two threads to this path now. I saw one when you, I assume, headed home from the mountain. The other appeared just as you arrived."

My whole body was tense. I was still as stone. "What did you see?"

Her face fell flat and she turned away. A rumbling roar erupted from Edward's chest.


	6. Threads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alice begins to unravel the different directions of Rosalie's life.

"The first thread," Alice whispered, "I saw you and she, alone, in a room made of dark wood and full of booths, like a restaurant. You led her out, further and further away, until you were among ferns and tall trees, far from anyone who could hear her. And when she leaned in with a smile, you took her."

" _Took_ her?"

"You're going to ruin this for us, Rose," Edward snarled. "You're going to end this good thing we've got. All over this _hiker_? Don't you know how good Carlisle has it? How good _we_ have it?"

"Hold tight there, Mr Doom and Gloom," I said darkly, one hand extended as if to stop up his words with my hand. "Nothing's happened yet. I don't have to see her."

"But you will."

The room grew still as we all glanced at Jasper, who'd spoken for the first time. Edward moved to break the silence, but Emmett cut him off with an out-of-character growl.

"Don't say a word, boy," he said, anger rippling in rumbles from his chest. "You've no right to speak to him. Not after what you said before."

"He didn't mean it," Jazz spoke. "I could feel that at least. He's just... worried."

I couldn't help it. It was just so absurd. Before I could compose myself, laughter bubbled up from my belly into the air.

"Worried? HA!" I clutched my stomach. "As if Edward cares for anyone except himself! If he's worried, it's for his own sorry hide. You could just run away again, if you're so _concerned_. I'm sure Tanya would love to see you."

Alice's eyes flashed at that, but she held out her arm to stop Edward before he could lunge for my throat. "Stop! All of you! This is no way for a family to act! You've forgotten that there's a second thread."

My mirth stopped cold at that. _The second option._ One of the only two Alice had seen, the final one if I wanted to avoid killing... killing _her_. But Alice's visions weren't set in stone. That had been made crystal clear over the years, at least. So many worst case scenarios, altered at the last moment by the smallest of decisions. Crises averted by a change of plans, a change of heart, sometimes even a change of being.

When Alice came to after her transformation, she'd been alone. This much Edward had been able to tell us. If not for a vision - one that showed Jasper, running away from Maria's coven, and the brother that he would become to her - she would've been lost to us forever. But come she did, and I remembered it like it were only moments ago.

We'd been hunting, as we so often did. Alice had seen that we'd be more receptive to her if she came to our home, then in Indiana, after we'd had a good meal. So when she appeared on our front porch, a terribly scarred Jasper on her arm, we only came close to killing them both. Fortunately Edward had seen what was in both of their minds - love, for every one of us.

How strange that had been. To see Edward, Carlisle's favorite, the one who was most skeptical and cruel, turn into putty in the tiny vampire's clutches. I was so sure then that her power had been coercion, or mind control. I hadn't considered the incredible truth, that he'd seen her vision of the future living there in her head. That he'd seen us, her, Jasper, everyone - how we were a family. It was even more incredible once I'd understood what else he'd seen in Alice; he'd seen a vision of the two of them, cradled together in a meadow, flowers growing up between their limbs. Not a death - there was none, of course, for us - but a strong thread of love, carrying them forward into the future. Yes, she had come here to become a Cullen. But she'd also come to find Edward, the one who would love her.

Once she'd grown comfortable with me - which, despite Edward's opinion of me, didn't take long - she'd confided in me what'd she'd seen of me. In her time as a vampire before meeting us, she'd initially seen only Carlisle, Esme, and Edward as her future family. For years - 13, exactly - she knew only those three in her mind's eye, the ones who would be her forever loves. It was on a dark night in 1933, when she and Jasper had been nomads in the Canadian wilds, that she was overcome with a vision of Carlisle, tortured with indecision, kneeling over a woman's broken body in a wet, dark street. _My_ broken body.

The vision Alice had seen with such clarity from the moment she was born anew - Edward, Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, and herself - shattered the moment Carlisle made up his mind and plunged his teeth into my skin. From that one decision, one I would hate him for forever, Carlisle had tied new threads throughout the snarling knots of the Cullens' lives. All because of me.

All because he thought I'd be perfect for _Edward._

"Alice," I gasped. "What's the second thread?"


	7. New Direction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alice details the second thread.

"You've got to tell me, Alice," I breathed. Dust fell from my face, and when I reached my hand up to clench in my own hair I felt dirt there too. _What a sight I must've been._

Edward scoffed. "Why should she even tell you? All you care about is that you were dirty when Bella saw you for the first time."

Rage rose like bile in my throat. "Stop _reading_ my _mind_ , fucko. You'll never enjoy what you find here."

"Her name is Bella?" Emmett said, perking up. "That sounds nice."

"She's a human," Edward snarled, golden eyes locked on my pitch-black ones. "Don't get attached."

"Oh!" I laughed dryly. "A human! Oh no! Are you trying to tell me you'd never let yourself get close to one? Befriend one? Oh, perfect Edward, torturing himself by only associating with the dead!"

I pranced mockingly in the center of the room, practically spitting in my ginger brother's face.

"Why, one would think you'd only wish to stay inside, locked up in your room," I went on, "brooding over your pitiful existence. You have Alice! She's your everything! Why concern yourself so thoroughly with me at all? You've never cared a whit for me."

Alice's face looked pinched. "Let me speak."

I stopped still, my dust cloud settling.

I didn't want to hear this final thread, I realized. As long as she kept it to herself, it could be anything. Bella and I, best friends. Bella and I, never to speak again. Bella, dying, the rest of us running away and covering our tracks. Bella, dying publicly, my actions bringing the judgement of the Volturi on our heads -

"The final thread, the one I saw as you came home, Rose," Alice breathed, "was just as strong as the other. In it, the scene was identical as the first. Restaurant, ferns, isolation at the end. No one to catch you if you lost control. But you don't - she leans in, and you kiss her."

My world came hurtling to a stop.

Bella - beautiful, soulful, gorgeously fragrant Bella - kissing me? Me, a dead, frozen corpse, kissing her?

I recalled her face - a picture as perfect as if I were viewing it in real time - the moment I saw her between the stones. A braid falling in her face, and her sweet exasperation as she pushed it away. The crease between her brows, so persistent that even when her face was relaxed the line remained. Her eyes, dark like pools of the deepest waters, full of all kinds of questions and thoughts and desires that I couldn't begin to parse apart. And her mouth - the way it twisted wryly when she was unsure of herself, her glowing smile, the way those lips looked when they met, as if they were the softest thing to ever be kissed.

"I'm going to meet her," I said. "It's obvious I have no choice."

Jasper smiled when I met his eyes. Before Edward could protest, Jasper subconsciously put out a hand and, I assumed, calmed him with pure, directed emotion just for him.

"I knew what you'd do the moment I saw her, Rose," Jazz said, his voice soft. "The way you stood, facing her, as I ran down the mountain? I could feel the awkwardness and hopefulness rolling off of you in waves. I've never seen you that way before."

Edward scoffed. "She really is always sure of herself, isn't she?"

Alice ignored him, blessing me with a beatific smile. "Your decision made the second thread stronger, Rose. Hold onto it."


	8. Deliberation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosalie ruminates.

I didn't want to talk to Carlisle when he got home. And I didn't want Esme to look at me with her loving, motherly eyes. I couldn't bear it.

So, I did what I should've done hours ago. I hunted.

We weren't supposed to hunt alone, but I needed to think. Edward, of course, expressed his apt opinion with the deepest of growls and darkest of glares, but I shut him up by thinking as loudly as possible, _fuck you Ed, you and your stupid little dumb brain. Imbecile. Dumbass. Rotbrain. You'll never compare to me. You'll never know what it's like to be me. Just keep your disgusting judgmental ideas to yourself._ It was enough, at least, to inspire Alice to lead him upstairs as I headed out the door. I presume she did so because she'd seen a billion threads forming in Edward's timeline, all of which detailed the best ways to rip me apart. God bless her.

It hadn't been the first time Edward wanted to kill me, and probably not the last.

The ground disappeared under my feet, my toes barely grazing the grasses and ferns. The sun was setting, and I took the opportunity to head due north. Away from people, away from my family, away from Bella. Just to think.

_Is that really all you want to do, Rose?_

Intrusive thoughts had always been there. Doubts, fears, insecurity. But I made damn sure to keep them buried until I was far away from Edward and his unfair mind-reading range. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. _He must only ever hear my over-the-top self-love and aggressive obsession with my appearance._ He thought I was shallow, vain, and short-sighted. So I let him think it... maybe even actively encouraged it. But it became exhausting over the near-century I'd lived with him.

The only time I could be myself in my own fucking brain was when I was out, hunting, far away from him.

My skin was still dirty, and my clothes became muddier as a misting rain began to fall. I didn't care a bit, not even when my tangled tresses whipped together into muddy clumps. Out here, alone, I could be disgusting and ugly and devolve into the monster Carlisle made of me.

_I should ask Edward and Emmett again. Maybe... instead of meeting her, I should just remove harming her from the equation entirely._

Edward might consider it, even if it meant earning Carlisle's wrath. But Emmett... he'd need convincing. I already knew that Jasper and Alice loved me too much to ever destroy me. But with what I'd done for Emmett, maybe he'd be understanding.

We were living in Tennessee when I'd discovered him. It'd been only two years after I'd been changed, and I still, to this day, didn't know why Carlisle (or Edward, for that matter) had let me hunt by myself. But, much like today, I'd needed the space.

Black bear was plentiful in the area at the time, and I'd already drained one by the time I discovered Emmett's hulking body in the middle of the woods. The creature that had done him in was long gone, but he was still alive somehow. I could hear his ragged breaths as if I'd found him all over again - dragging in, out, in, out. His lung had collapsed, and it was the whistling strain on his inhalations that gave me the first sign he was alive. Then I'd heard his feeble heartbeat.

The smell of his blood - direct, sharp, close - was the first time I'd smelled human blood since -

* * *

I took Jared first. I broke both his arms, then his neck, and left him pooling on his own bedroom floor.

After him, Anthony. Tony, Tony, Tony... he didn't even see me coming. I swept his legs at the pier, sending him headfirst into the water. Then my vice-like grip held him in until the bubbles stopped.

The third, Bernard, was the messiest. He was my last stop before Royce, and I wanted to make an impression. I wanted him to know what was coming for him. So, when I found little Bernie, he was laying in his girl's bed. I took him, right from her arms, and crushed him against my stony body until he was pulp. The blood... so near, so cloying, so warm. I could've drunk it, I wanted to take it all, but the very thought of consuming any part of him... it was repellent. I instead took solace in the sound of the girl's screams as I plummeted from the fourth floor window. If only she knew what I'd saved her from.

Now Royce... no. I wouldn't think of that. Not now.

* * *

Emmett's blood was warm still when I'd discovered him. It was the same, yet totally unlike, any blood I'd smelled before. Humans were funny like that, but this one - why couldn't I leave him? Why not just run from his body, let a ranger discover him, or leave him to the wolves?

I knew why not. He'd turned over at my approach, still conscious, and looked at me. Not as a woman, or a fellow human, but like... like there was something I could do for him. Like I could save him.

Why not live up to this man's hope? Why not be totally unlike everything I thought of myself? Why not use my speed, strength, agility, to save instead of destroy?

He was so fragile in my arms, even as big as he was. His groans and whistling breaths, the smell of his throat and the pants from between his teeth, the way his eyes rolled back in his head whenever I shifted his weight - it was all too much. I couldn't carry him.

But I could... I could save him another way.

_No._

Carlisle had found me in much the same way. _He'd decided for me._ Why did I have the right to condemn someone else to the same fate? To turn him against his will?!

But then, he looked at me again.

"P-pl-please," he'd said.

And that's what made up my mind. He wanted to live... and I couldn't keep him alive that way. But there was another option available to me, and I would take it.

So help me, God.

I'd started before I could think better of it. A bite here, a bite there - from his neck to his wrists, even on his chest, closest to his heart. Anything to get the venom moving through him before - before I killed him. His blood was the first I'd ever let myself taste, and I was so afraid I wouldn't stop.

He screamed and groaned but finally, after I'd taken so much more blood than he'd already lost, he fell unconscious. It was his silence that terrified me into ending the frenzy.

But he was still alive. So I waited, holding his unconscious body, until he rose on the third day.

I didn't know why this entitled me to his consent to destroy me, though. Because I'd made him, I reserved the right to request that he kill me? But now, while I ran through the trees into the darkness, it made more sense than anything else.

But before all that, I had animals to drain. I had graduation in the morning.


	9. Graduation (Again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosalie graduates and discovers a classmate she didn't realize she had.

It was completely ridiculous how long it took to get through the names of every senior in Forks.

Here we sat, in rows of black with these dumbass hats, waiting for some hooligan to call our last names, just to traipse across a terribly constructed ramp/elevated platform combo in the middle of a gym and get another piece of worthless paper.

A paper that would mean freedom... for the next eight years at least.

Alice, Edward, and Emmett went close to the beginning, since their last name was legally Cullen. It was odd, as it always was, watching them with their unnatural beauty and slightly wrong movements contrasted against the humans in line. It helped that we all wore shapeless black robes, but there was still something that marked us as alien. Wrong.

As Hales, Jasper and I were nearer the middle. The pompous band music grew more and more unbearable as we approached the superintendent at his podium, and the humans pressing so close to us smelled intoxicating. I reached out to grab Jasper's hand, disguised by our bulky sleeves, and gave it a squeeze.

"You're doing fine," I whispered, too quick and low for humans to hear.

A shrug. "Whatever you say."

He'd gritted his teeth. I didn't blame him.

We swept along and received our certificates from a very sweaty Mr Jones. He bore more extensive regalia than the rest of us, and it weighed on him. He just smiled at us, drew in a ragged breath that was almost a pant, and turned to the next person in line.

It was fine. I'd done this dozens of times before. At this point I could completely dissociate if I wanted to... but I needed to be here for Jasper.

It was harder for him than it was for the rest of us. He was much older than anyone in the family, excepting Carlisle, and had been all but feral when Alice found him. All those years of consuming human blood had taken its toll on his self control. In fact, this was his first try at attending school outside night classes, where it had been easier to stay distanced from the rest. My heart (if I had one) swelled in my chest at the thought of him completing his first round so successfully. One glance back to Emmett, seated once more, showed how proud he was too. If given the chance, he'd be whooping and hollering and bringing down the whole building, just so Jasper would know how happy he was.

We took our seats and settled in for more mindless circling of students, looking for all the world like a murder of crows circling a corpse. I smiled at the thought, imagining Mr Jones as their target.

"Beau Swan, magna cum laude."

_Swan?_

An uncommon name, even more so uttered in Mr Jones' raspy voice. My eyes snapped to the podium to see a boy crossing the stage, shyly accepting his certificate, and making his way back to his seat. His natural hair was cropped with a fade, but otherwise I could see the resemblance... especially in his eyes. They were such a deep brown, like whole worlds lived inside them...

How had I not realized Bella's brother was in this very school? Perhaps even in my classes? Was I really that wrapped up in my own life, to not notice the goings on in school? It wasn't like there was a lot of seniors for him to get lost among anyway.

So if he's here? That must mean...

"I present to you the class of 2019!" Mr Jones shouted, closely followed by a roar of applause and cries of joy as children threw their caps.

The din in the gym was astounding, especially to my sensitive ears. I rose, took Emmett's hand in my left and Jasper's in my right and hauled them off to the side of the room. Anything to keep Jasper from the center.

Emmett just laughed and crushed Jasper's body to his once I'd released them both.

"You did so well, Jazz! And you thought you couldn't do it!"

Jasper smiled, face wan. "Don't jinx it."

I was only half listening. I focused on scanning every face in the crowd, reaching my senses out to detect her smell, the sound of her voice, the flash of her brilliant smile. I found Esme's heart-shaped face, beaming as she always did at graduations, then Carlisle's, then that park ranger that lived in town. Charlie, maybe? Unimportant.

Then - there it was. Flowers.

"There you are!"

I whipped around to see Bella Swan's beaming face.


	10. Speak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella and Rosalie confirm plans.

Her smile ( _so fucking gorgeous, wow)_ just widened at my shock that she'd, somehow, managed to sneak up on me. I could only imagine how I looked right now.

"You look a bit different when you're not covered with mud," she said, her smile fading into a shy pout. "Took me a bit to recognize you, but the hair gives you away."

I just stared into the pools of her eyes for a beat too long, then assumed my safe, smiling resting face reserved for the most human of interactions. "Hello! So nice to see you, Bella. Erm - " _Oh good, Emmett and Jasper are still here -_ "You've already met Jasper, but here's his boyfriend, Emmett. Emmett, meet Bella!"

Emmett smiled bigger than I'd ever seen him smile before. "I've heard about you! You saved Rose for us, didn't you?"

Bella's smile returned and she looked down. One braid slipped over her shoulder. "I don't know if I would call it _saving._ But if you'd seen someone go down in a rock-slide, you'd dig them out too I'm sure."

"Eh, not sure I would if it's Rose we're talking about," Emmett quipped, shooting me a wink and a broad smile. "Anyway, we'll leave you to it. Nice to meet you!"

I should've been grateful that Emmett steered Jasper away, and from the looks of it went on to fend off a grimacing Edward, but all I could feel was a lurch in my stomach. If I could sweat, I'd be sweating now.

"So!" _Too bright, too eager, shut up._ "I saw Beau Swan called up there. Your brother I assume?"

Bella's eyes returned to meet mine. _She looks so different in a dress._ "Yeah! He's technically supposed to be a junior this year, but he's graduating early. Took mostly AP classes and dual credits. Charlie and I are so proud, but we'll miss him when he moves on to bigger and better things."

_So that explains why I didn't notice him before. I wouldn't be caught dead (heh) in an AP class._

I looked around. "Is he around? He or Charlie? I'd like to congratulate him."

"Oh I'm sure they're around somewhere, but you couldn't drag me back into that sweaty crowd for anything."

I glanced back at her. She was staring at my legs again.

"Want to get someplace more..." I hesitated, before finally facing my fears, "more private?"

She blinked. "I'd love to."

* * *

It was misting, as it so often did, just outside the cafeteria. The overhang saved her shoes and my hair from the moisture, but a part of me wanted to go wild with her - tear our shoes off, run across the grass, and let the rain plaster our clothes to our bodies.

"So," she said, so close and yet not close enough, "you gonna tell me what's up with you?"

I removed my cap and stepped out of my unzipped polyester gown with a grimace. "What do you mean?

She hesitated, watching as I folded my graduation clothes and straightened my sea-green dress. It was well made - an antique, from my early days as a human. It was back in style, luckily, and breaking it out of the pine box was an exhilarating experience. It hugged my curves and flared at the knees into a little pleated hem, and the boat neck collar scooped low, flattering my collarbones and the rise of my breasts. I hoped she was looking at them, but I was afraid to check.

"You... you survived a rock-slide."

 _This again. Fuck._ "Because of you."

"No," she insisted, voice growing surer. "I've seen people caught in rock-slides at Mount Rainier all the time. My dad and I are park rangers there and... if someone gets buried in one they don't come out alive. Especially not under-equipped white girls in shorts and no shoes."

Her eyes flashed to mine, then back down. "No offense."

"None taken," I said thoughtfully.

She paused, then began blurting out a cascade of words. "It was like you were your own boulder, displacing literal stones in a landslide, pushing them away like they were _nothing_ , and when you got buried you just sat there for what felt like forever and I was so horrified... just so _horrified_ , and I didn't even know if it'd be worth digging you out because I was so sure you were dead, but you _weren't,_ you were just sitting there like a frozen TV dinner, waiting for me to unearth you like the world's worst archaeologist, and I just - "

She pressed a hand to her mouth, staring out across the grassy turf to the ridge of trees.

It took a lifetime, but she finally spoke again. "I know it sounds crazy. But the moment I touched you I was sure you'd died. You were so cold. Your eyes were open and glassy but then you _blinked_."

I wanted so badly to touch her, but my skin was still cold and dead. How could I comfort her without telling her that she was right, that I'd died much too long ago?

"And now," she blurted, "Now I'm just making a fool out of myself in front of the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, and - "

She gasped and whipped back to stare at me, hand reaching for her mouth again.

My whole body ran wild with tingles. _She thought I was beautiful._

Her thinking so wasn't unusual. Most people found me beautiful. It was a disgusting side-effect of being a vampire; the unusual good looks I took advantage of in life, not understanding their danger, were my strongest trait in death, magnified to an unforgiveable degree. Men stopped in the street to stare at me. Women's jaws dropped in stores. I once even caused a car crash by unwittingly distracting two drivers in an intersection. But for _Bella_ to find me beautiful? That made being supernaturally dead almost worth it.

But I couldn't function. I couldn't hope to assemble the right words to reassure her, to soothe her embarrassment. All I could say was a whispered, "No, _you're_ beautiful."

_Pathetic. Insufficient._

She blinked and her dark skin grew ruddy. I could feel the increase in her body temperature from three feet away.

"We still getting dinner?" she stammered.

"Tomorrow?"

_"Yes."_


	11. Honey, Just...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So close

Edward tried to keep me from going, but Alice stepped in — she’d seen that I’d go, after all. As much as he’d like to, Edward can’t argue with Alice’s visions.

Even though I myself had doubts. 

There was just no way. No way on earth that she’d want... me? 

I hadn’t come to terms with apparently being gay. I hadn’t even let myself think the word yet —

_Lesbian_.

That’s it.

I sat in my car, facing the diner Bella was going to arrive at any minute, and only saw Royce’s face. His jealous, sneering, leering face. How he’d spit and jeer whenever another man dared look at me, or I even acknowledge being the object of attraction. And how dare I even have female friends...

* * *

Her name had been Vera. I’d known her all my human life, and we’d been so close. Even when she married a man who didn’t deserve her, but was so blissfully happy with. Even when the baby came.

I thought at the time that I’d been jealous of Vera’s happiness, her relationship, even her child. I thought I wanted the happiness she had, in all its simplicity and lack of glamour and riches. But, as I reflected on how my heart leaped when I was with her, how I’d follow the waves of her brown hair with yearning eyes, how I’d relish our early sleepovers and girlish, carefree attitudes towards our bodies and general lack of dress... I saw the parallels between that and how I felt about Bella.

I thought I’d just found a bosom sister in Vera. But I was wrong.

Royce hated my closeness with Vera. He’d tried to isolate me from her — whether to make me dependent on him, or because he saw what I didn’t, I didn’t know. But it did me no good to agonize over Royce’s motivations now. Because Royce King II was dead. 

And I’d killed him.

_No, don’t think of that now. Don’t think about how he begged, how he cried and demanded mercy..._

* * *

There was a sharp rap on my window.

”Rosalie? Hi!”

_Oh god. She was here. And I’m still sitting here like a dope._

I composed myself and emerged from my car into the misting rain, towering over Bella Swan. She was smiling her broad, white, eager smile, and I could swear her eyes were sparkling. She was dressed very simply in jeans, combat boots, and an oversized flannel over a black tank top. She made me feel overdressed, as well as a couple other things...

“Wow, you look gorgeous!” Bella said, filling the lull. I was endlessly grateful — I had no idea why being around her turned me into such an awkward conversationalist. 

“You’ll have to teach me to do my makeup like that sometime,” she went on, “I’m hopeless when it comes to eyeliner. Love your blouse by the way.”

I looked down at myself, suddenly glad I couldn’t blush. I’d almost forgotten what I was even wearing. Alice had insisted on dressing me up like some Barbie doll.

”It’s just purple,” I said lamely. 

Bella laughed. “Okay. Just purple. Let’s go inside, I’m freezing!”

Then, before I could run away screaming, Bella grabbed my hand and moved to lead me inside. She jumped at the coldness of my skin, but didn’t let go.

“You poor thing, you’re freezing too! Let’s get some warm food in you.”

And so Bella led me into the diner, holding my hand. If she hadn’t gripped me so tightly, I may have floated off into the sky like a balloon.

It was toasty inside, both from the HVAC and the rising body heat of the people packed into the building. I was assailed with so many different scents — Italian seasonings, over-proved breadsticks, salty sweat on the cook’s neck, unwashed asses, women’s perfume and men’s cologne, and a deep current of blood pounding beneath it all. But there was just one I cared about, just one that would keep me grounded in all this... and there it was. Bella’s floral, distinctly human smell. 

A smiling waitress seated us in a creaking leather booth, and only then did Bella release my hand. I missed the contact of her skin immediately. Every moment not touching her was a waste.

”Anything I can get you two, or do you need a minute?” the waitress asked, clicking her gum.

”Just Coke for me,” Bella said, watching me expectantly.

_Oh. I have to act. Right._

”Just water please.”

The waitress just smiled and disappeared.

Bella turned her deep pools for eyes on me then. “So!” Much too bright. “How’ve you been?”

I blinked. I hadn’t done much since yesterday. Just stress-tinkered on the BMW. Would she be interested in that?

”Not much,” I said instead. “It’s just been a day! Not a lot of trouble I can get myself into in just one day.”

Bella laughed. It sounded like the peal of a silver bell. “I think we both know that’s a lie. And I better not catch you back up on Rainier again after last time.”

“Oh. Right.”

”Besides,” she went on, leaning one elbow on the table between us, “Surely there’s something you can report?”

I shrugged. “Um. Well, I like to work on cars. BMWs mostly. The undercarriage just makes more sense on German cars to me at least. They leave more space to work in between parts.”

Bella was smiling, eyes fixed on and invested in mine. 

Encouraged, I continued. “I haven’t owned one yet, but I’ve heard Kias have a lot of space too. Plenty of room to add in trick parts and tune up the engine to have a little more oomph.”

”So you like to drive fast, huh?” Bella said with a wink. “You’re lucky my dad’s not a cop.”

”Well,” I laughed, “You could say that. Mostly I like working on the cars to make them go fast. Driving them is a bonus.”

I worried the edge of my nail. “Did Charlie used to be a cop?”

”Eh, for like a year or two.” Bella just shrugged. “Years ago. In Seattle. The SPD was less corrupt then, but he still couldn’t bear the environment. It’s a real boys club. The year he left, the department let a cop off the hook for the shooting of a black trans woman. Put him on administrative leave with pay. He knew then he couldn’t keep working for a place like that.”

”That’s terrible.”

”Yeah. He told me then that there _are_ good cops, but they’re usually chased off the force by the bad cops. Here lately it seems like all the good ones have finally quit.”

I picked my nail more insistently. “I know a thing or two about bad cops standing up for their friends. Even when they’re not on the force. My f... ex-fiancé got off scot free for some real shit he pulled off. Hence the ex part.” 

“Oh man, Rosalie,” Bella breathed.

”One water and a Coke!” 

The waitress reappeared and placed our drinks in front of us. Bella and I both leaned back — we’d been inclined towards one another across the table. Huh.

The waitress pressed pencil to paper. “Now, what can I get for you two gal pals?”

I repressed a snort. Bella kindly asked for mushroom ravioli. I paused a beat, then begrudgingly ordered spaghetti. It’d be easy enough to swirl on my fork, cut up, play with, and spit in a napkin.

”Feeling daring, are we?” 

“Huh?” _Graceful, Rose. Bah._

The waitress had bustled off. Bella stared, expectantly. “Daring! Spaghetti is notoriously messy.”

Her eyes darted to my breasts, then back up. “Wouldn’t want to ruin that beautiful shirt.”

Again, I was glad I couldn’t blush. “I’ll be careful! And anyway, Alice picked this out for me. It’s not my favorite.”

Bella laughed and shook her head. I felt like I was missing the joke. 

A comfortable lull took over our table. Bella appeared to be deep in thought — she kept knotting and unknotting the end of one of her braids. I just kept picking at my nail, grateful that my cuticle was incapable of breaking. 

“Fiancé, huh?” Bella said suddenly. 

I blinked. “Yeah. A while ago.”

”And how old are you? Eighteen? You just graduated.”

Ice ran down my spine. _Stupid_.

“Nineteen, actually.”

”Hmm. Didn’t realize Dr Cullen consented to child marriages. Or maybe there’s something you’re not telling me?”

I stared into her eyes with my dark gold ones. 

She held my gaze, then sighed. “Rose, I saw you survive a rockslide. I dug you up, for God’s sake. Or maybe you just let me believe I did. Something tells me you could’ve crawled out just fine all on your own.”

My mind jumped to an image of me as a zombie, hair ratty and clothes tattered, lurching out of some moldy grave. She was too close to the truth. 

This is why I was no good at having friends. Why I’d never tried before, or even really spoken much with anyone outside my family. I didn’t have the necessary filter to keep up the human charade. And now I might have ruined our existence here for everyone.

But... maybe Alice had seen this too. How else could we be together? How else could she kiss me and not wonder? 

“Breadsticks!” the waitress said, voice much too bright. She thumped a basket of them between us, and we leaned back again. 

She deposited our food and whipped away just as quickly as before. I only registered that she was blonde, and that Bella had smiled warmly at her and watched her go. 

An odd feeling stirred in my gut, one not entirely unfamiliar but also one I couldn’t easily name. It was uncomfortable. Maybe I’d remember it later, when my mind wasn’t so... muddled.

Bella dug into her ravioli with gusto, obviously savoring it. It was refreshing to see a woman enjoy her food. I didn’t quite copy her, but I employed the familiar motions of twirling up the noodles, moving them around the plate, and cutting a few up so that it appeared I was eating. I even took a few nibbles and spat them out in my napkin. 

She eyed me, fork in her mouth. She had a little sauce on her face, but I didn’t want to say anything. It was cute.

“You alright there, Rose?”

A jolt went through my body when she called me that again. “Hmm? ‘Course!”

”I know you think you’re being sneaky, but I just wanna keep an eye out for you.”

”I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She let her fork drop with a clank against her plate. “You’re not eating.”

I stopped twirling my noodles. “Of course I am.”

“No! Just... stop.” She placed her hands flat on the tabletop, as if it was the only thing keeping her from exploding. 

“Rose,” she went on, voice tight. “I witnessed you survive something no human should. Your skin is like a freezer and you talk about having a fiancé ‘a while ago.’ Now you’re not eating, and unless you fess up to having an eating disorder I’m inclined to believe that something else is going on. I’m tired of giving you a zillion chances to explain, so I’m going to be straight with you. I asked you to dinner...” she closed her eyes and braced, “because I want to know what the fuck is up with you.”

I didn’t know what to feel, and yet I felt it all. She didn’t feel it, did she? She’s just... curious? 

So, Edward was right all along. I put my family in harm’s way for nothing. 

”I’m not in the mood to be gaslit, Rosalie. So if you’re gonna keep this up I might as well go home.”

”No!”

I surprised myself with the ferocity of my response, both vocally and emotionally. I was surprised even more to find my left hand covering one of hers she’d laid flat on the table. We both stared at them, frozen, waiting to see what would happen next. She was holding her breath, and her heart was thudding so loud it felt like it encapsulated us both in the booth. 

I spoke first.

“I don’t... I don’t mean to be so cryptic. I don’t want to lie to you.”

Her eyes were very soft. “So don’t.”

“But I promised — ”

”Rose, listen to me. Anyone who tells you to lie for them only wants to protect themselves, not you.”

I barked out a derisive laugh. _Tell that to the Volturi, then. I’m sure Aro would understand.  
_

“Okay. You already know something is... wrong with me. And if I and my family disappear now that’ll only make things worse. So, I’ll tell you.”

She frowned.

“But not all at once,” I warned. “I don’t want you to... I don’t know, run away from me.”

She covered my hand with her free one, then rubbed my thumb with a comforting motion. My skin began to warm from the contact with her living flesh. 

I took a deep breath. “Okay. Here goes nothing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took so long. 💗


	12. Time to Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosalie tells some secrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Past r*pe trigger warning for this chapter - it's skippable, I promise!

Bella's hand was still under mine. She didn't seem to mind, so I didn't move.

"I was born in 1914."

She blinked, but stayed silent.

I took a shuddering breath, then pushed forward. "I lived in a different world than you do, Bella. My human world was a much simpler place. It was 1933. I was 19, and I was beautiful. My life was perfect."

Her hand gripped my thumb and squeezed.

"There were things I still wanted. To be married with a nice house and a spouse who kissed me when they came home. A family of my own. Royce King was the most eligible bachelor in town. I barely knew him. But I was young. I was in love with the idea of love."

My mind was running a mile a minute. She was still here, staring at me, eyes big, but her thumb was tracing comforting circles on my own. But for how long? How much could I say before... before it was too much?

I couldn't lie to her, though. I wouldn't. Edward did enough of that for both of us, and I wouldn't turn that around on someone as beautiful and sweet and _deserving_ of all the good things in life as Bella Swan. I would just have to... couch it in delicate language, I supposed.

"My friend, Vera - _God_ , she had it all. They were poor, her and her husband, but they loved each other so much. They had a little boy. And for a long time I thought I was going to have their type of love with Royce... but one day it clicked. Royce would never treasure me like Vera's husband treasured her. I was just... his pretty little status symbol. And I didn't have any love in my heart for him, really, just hope that my life would be like the movies."

"And then it went wrong?"

Bella's voice was small and cautious. Her eyes held nothing but concern - concern that I didn't deserve.

I chuckled grimly. "Then it all went wrong."

I stared at our clasped hands, my skin so painfully white against the warm darkness of hers, and wished I could be warm and pleasant to hold hands with. She must be freezing. But she didn't let go.

"I was walking home after a dress fitting for our wedding," I finally continued in a hushed voice. "It was cold and a bit too late and dark out for comfort. I was dreading speaking with Royce, knowing what I would have to say, what I'd practiced saying as the seamstress pinned me into that godforsaken gown. And then I heard them."

Bella's hand tightened.

"It was Royce and some of his friends, sons of other rich men in town. They were blustering, shouting, laughing, drunk, and stupid. 'Here's my Rose!' Royce shouted, laughing with them, sounding just as stupid. 'You're late. We're cold, you've kept us waiting so long.' I had no idea what they meant, since my father never let me be alone with Royce outside of home. But... I understood pretty quickly after that. They grabbed at me, calling me horrible things like _slut, whore,_ and _cunt._ They tore at my clothes. And Royce let them."

"Jesus, Rosalie." Her voice sounded thick. I was scared to look at her, so I focused on the pitted stains on the table.

"I remember it all. A horrible side effect of... my condition, really. It's like I'm frozen in panic mode, betrayal hardwired into my brain, all because... well, I'll tell you in a minute. I'm getting ahead of myself.

"They drug me into a side alley, away from anyone who could hear. It was late enough and cold enough that few people were out and about anyway. And if there were police out, they didn't come. Not when I screamed, not when they beat me to shut me up, not when Royce yelled over them, demanding to be the first... and not when they left me in a puddle of my own blood, clothes torn and pulled up to my waist, choking on my own vomit. They left me in the street, thinking I was dead. Believe me, I wanted to be."

I glanced up at her. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears, and my gut lurched. But I was too far in now. _Why_ did I start with this story?

"They - they left Royce's _belt_ around my neck," I hissed. "The indignancy of it all. Inhumane. Drink doesn't make men do that. Not _good_ men. It was hiding in them all along, under their black ties and cummerbunds and starched shirts. And I got caught in the crossfire."

The waitress was approaching. I could hear her hurried footsteps, smell her now-familiar scent. So I tucked my chin and braced for her cheery -

"Are we ready for dessert?"

Bella started.

"No thank you," I said, nearly a growl, but managed to transform my voice into something approaching pleasant to follow with, "But we are ready for the check."

She dropped it off and confirmed that we could pay on our way out. I grabbed the slip and pen before Bella could, scrawled an inordinate tip on it, and rose. I extended my hand to a surprised Bella Swan.

"Follow me out? I'm getting there, I promise."

Her unshed tears glistened on her cheeks now, but she was hurriedly brushing them away. She took my hand in answer, then followed as I paid for our meal and swept out into the misty gloom.


	13. Among the Ferns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second half of Rosalie's story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's safe to resume here if you skipped the last one!

Bella took my hand as we approached my red BMW. "You're not leaving now, right?"

I just shook my head. 

"Oh. Good."

We continued past my car, stepping down off gravel onto springy, wet ground. The diner was situated somewhat off the main drag, its back flush with pines that streaked upward. The underbrush was a thick carpet of ferns.

My mind flashed to Alice's vision.

_You led her out, further and further away, until you were among ferns and tall trees, far from anyone who could hear her. And when she leaned in with a smile, you took her._

But that wasn't going to be Bella's future. I wouldn't let it.

"Is it okay with you," I asked, "if we take a little walk back here? I'd rather not be overheard... people wouldn't understand this next part of my story."

Her eyes were huge and shone in the darkness. She just squeezed my hand in response.

And so we went into the woods, weaving amongst the trees. At some point I took off my shoes so I could feel the dirt under my feet, carrying the flats loosely in one hand while I led Bella with the other. We didn't speak for a long while - she was letting me decide when to begin.

It was only when the sounds of the road became faint to my own supernatural hearing that I spoke.

"Carlisle found me. He smelled all the blood. Thought he was helping me."

"Your foster dad, right?"

I barked one solitary laugh. "That's another thing. That's just what we call him to try and appear normal to humans."

"Humans? You say that like you aren't one."

I stopped in my tracks, ferns painting dew across my ankles. I dropped my shoes, turned to face her, and she released my hand. I missed the warmth instantly.

"I tell you I was born over one hundred years ago, and you think I'm still human?"

She crossed her arms over her chest and tucked her chin. She studied the ground for a long moment.

"My friend," she began, hesitantly, "Jacob Black. He used to tell me stories that his dad told him, when we were growing up together. Something about _cold ones."_

Lightning flared down my spine.

"A lot of what he used to laugh about is ringing true now. When I take the details I drug out of him over the years and apply them to you, it makes... sense? But they're just stories, right?"

She raised her eyes to meet mine, something pleading deep within them. I just shook my head.

"The Quileute tribe stories are right," I told her. "They're only a couple generations old, so I'm sure they haven't been warped by time. We lived here once before, decades ago. When it was just Carlisle, Esme, Edward and I. The elders remembered their older stories of people like us, from even longer ago, so they were wary. We promised not to come back until that generation of leaders were gone."

Her face screwed up with confusion. "But - but you checked with them before you moved back, right? Surely - "

"We did. Carlisle called Billy Black - I assume, Jacob's dad?"

She nodded.

"He wasn't thrilled about it, but agreed on two conditions - that we don't set foot on the reservation, and that we don't..." 

_Fuck. I'm ahead of myself now._

"Don't _what_ , Rosalie?"

I didn't want to meet her eyes. I knew they'd be pleading again - begging for some kind of reasoning, some way to explain all this away. But I couldn't.

"What Carlisle did to me," I said, voice rough with emotion, "wasn't done with my consent. He thought he was saving me, but... he just prolonged my death, my horror... and my shame."

"What did he do?"

_It's too late now._

"What I'm trying not to do to you right this instant."

Her heartbeat revved, thumping like a drum in my ears. She smelled so sweet, the light rain sharpening her scent into knifelike strength in my nostrils. Everything in me was screaming to take her, crush her in my arms, consume her...

"You're trying not to kill me, aren't you?"

Breath whooshed from my lungs, and my eyes finally caught hers. They were full of something resembling... sympathy?

Her lips parted, and she took a breath before continuing. "Jacob told me the cold ones, your family, were different. That you didn't hurt people. So the conditions for you coming back were to stay away from the Quileute reservation and to not... kill anyone. Right?"

I still felt like I couldn't breathe. "Right."

"So when Carlisle... did something to you, he hurt you, didn't he?"

"He did," I said, voice hitching. "But not in the way you think. Carlisle is... different from the others of our kind. He only turns people if they're dying. What he didn't know, though, was that I'd rather die after what _they_ did to me."

Her eyes shone with unshed tears again, still full of sympathy and pain. I couldn't bear it.

"I'm glad he did," she finally croaked, on the verge of crying. "But I'm sorry, Rosalie."

Hope stirred in my chest again.

"I hate what they did to you," she continued, voice strengthening. "I hate Royce, I hate the others, I hate that no one was there to help you... that Carlisle got there too late. But at the very least, I'm glad you're here now, and that I got to meet you."

I didn't know what to say, what to do with myself. My hands were tingling, and if I had a heart it would be surging in my chest.

Bella laughed wryly. "That sounds so selfish of me to say! That you went through all that, and you're forced to keep living with it, but it's all good because some rando in Forks got to have dinner with you? It sounds awful. But that's what everything inside me is screaming at me to say. That I'm glad you're alive, now, with me."

The corner of my mouth twitched. "Alive, you say?"

Her smile faded. "Is that wrong?"

A gust of wind wound past us through the trees, carrying her scent directly into my face. I shuddered against it, grinding my bare feet into the moss and grime.

"I'm... I'm not alive, Bella."

She recoiled as if I'd smacked her.

"Carlisle turned me into a vampire that night. He bit me in the street and carried my body away. He waited as his venom turned every inch of me into stone. Feel my hand!"

I grabbed her wrist. By some miracle, she didn't pull away from me.

"Look! My skin doesn't give against yours. You could try to scratch me but I wouldn't bleed. I don't sleep, I don't eat - "

Her eyes flew to mine. 

_Fuck._

"If you don't eat people," she whispered, "what do you eat?"

I stared into her eyes. I felt like I was tied to her, even though I could break her dainty wrist like a straw. I could run, now, just start going and never look back, keep running forever until I hit ocean and keep going, down, down, down and just bury myself in the sea floor...

"The day you found me? I said I was taking photos of elk."

She nodded.

"Jasper and I... we were there to hunt them."

She started to smile. "That... works? That's good, right?"

Relief flooded through me, so I stepped closer, hand softening on her arm. "It works. I've... never drunk human blood before, so I can't compare, but animal blood is sufficient."

"Ha! I figured every vampire must have tasted blood at some point."

I could feel a mischievous smile spreading across my face. "Ah, so you're the expert on vampires now?"

Her face dropped. "No! I mean - "

I shushed her by raising one finger to her lower lip. "No, it's okay! But you're wrong on one front. I've tasted human blood - I just didn't drink it."

Her eyes widened again. 

"Emmett," I explained.

"Oh."

"I found him, dying. So I did what Carlisle did for me. Still not sure if it was the right thing."

Her hand found my wrist and trailed up it, leaving streaks of fire behind on my skin. She was so close to me. Her breaths washed over my face, pleasant and cool. 

"Moral vampires," she mused. "And yet you still think what Carlisle does, what you did, is wrong."

I studied the lines of her face. She had tiny scars on her nose, probably from acne as a teenager, and a little mole on her cheek. Marks of being alive, having lived a life - marks I no longer had.

"I think that when someone's time comes, they should be allowed to go. And when I turned Emmett, I took that away from him."

Her hand rose and rested against my neck. I wanted to lean my face into it and let her comfort me, but I was frozen.

_The final thread, the one I saw as you came home, Rose, was just as strong as the other. In it, the scene was identical as the first. Restaurant, ferns, isolation at the end. No one to catch you if you lost control. But you don't - she leans in, and you kiss her._

"Rose," Bella said, "Emmett seems happy with his life. He had a chance to be happy with Jasper because of you."

I was still as a stone, but she didn't seem put off by how unnatural it was. In fact, she came even closer, her booted toes bumping my bare ones. She played absentmindedly with a strand of my yellow hair.

"Could you be happy?" she whispered, "This way? The way Carlisle made you?"

"I might," I breathed.

Her dark eyes glowed when a stray moonbeam found its way through the branches. In the less-than-perfect light, her dark skin shone with a silvery sheen. I finally dared to raise a hand, carefully and slowly, to touch her cheek. She immediately closed her eyes and leaned into my touch.

"Isn't that cold? Why - "

She cut me off with a pleased chuckle. "It's nice. And I like it when you touch me."

Her eyes blinked back open to meet mine, then flickered down to my lips. She leaned.

Like when she pushed stones aside to find me. Like when she tracked me down at graduation. Like when she asked me to dinner. Like when we sat in the booth, on the edge of our seats, leaning towards each other over the table, hanging on to every word and only crashing back to earth when the waitress interrupted...

"Rose," she murmured, barely more than a whisper, "are you going to kiss me, or do I have to make my intentions even more painfully obvious?"

There was no question. She still smelled so delicious, so tempting, but my hunger took a back seat to a different kind of want. It surged through my limbs and I didn't know how to manage it, what to do, how to release all this pent up anxiety and excitement and confusion and fear - 

So I lunged and locked lips with Bella Swan.

She was so warm. Her full lower lip was soft between my own. She emitted a whine of surprise that sent shocks through my system. Then she laughed into my mouth, an adorable, exhilarated laugh, and she melted against me. Her hand against my neck slid until she grasped the base of my skull, deepening the kiss as much as a human could. She wound those fingers into my hair.

I had no idea what to do with my hands. One still clasped her wrist, so I started there. I moved it to her waist, pulling her against me, relishing the soft warmth of her curves and loving how they fit perfectly against my own. Then I traced the other across her cheek, over her earlobe - earning a whine of want (interesting) - and into the depths of her braids. The braids themselves obstructed my hand somewhat, feeling harder and rougher than I expected, until I detected her scalp and the softness of her natural hair where the braids ended. I knotted my fingers there and elicited another whine. By the way my body responded, I realized I liked it when she made that particular noise. I couldn't wait to hear it some more.

But it would have to be another time.

She tasted so amazing on my tongue, on my lips, pairing with her scent at the back of my throat. There was an element of excitement in how close she was to possible death, in just how fragile she was in my arms... but even more so in the knowledge that now that I'd decided to love her, I would never, ever hurt her.

I broke the kiss, but didn't pull away. She took a deep, shuddering breath and clenched her hand tighter in my hair. I held her close.

"You don't have to stop," she said.

"I know. But it's cold and wet here. I could go on forever, but you... I'd never forgive myself if I got you sick out here in the middle of the night."

Her eyes flickered up to mine before she leaned her forehead against my chest. She sighed.

"You're right. But I hate that you're right."

We stood like that for a moment, her head tucked under my chin, her hand untangling from my hair to join the other one, wrapped around my waist. I held her tight and kissed her fragrant head.

"Let's get you back to our cars. Now that I'm not trapped at school every day, we could... go on a hike?"

She pulled back to shoot me a mischievous grin. "So long as I don't end up digging you out again."

I laughed. "Deal."


	14. Two Like Souls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Esme has words of advice.

Maybe I was imagining it, or maybe I could actually hear Edward pacing as I approached home.

Once I was within mind-shot, I figured he'd lose his damn mind. Alice had given me a way out of killing Bella — had there ever really been a question? Impossible to conceive of now — but not a way out of telling her the truth. That's what Edward would eviscerate me for.

But as I pulled my BMW into my mechanic's bay, the house was suspiciously silent, and all but one of the cars were gone from the garage.

The lights were on. I pulled my dripping jacket off and hung it in the mudroom (or Esme would've killed me). I threw my shoes in the corner and tried to wipe the mud from my bare feet. 

Then I heard her coming.

“Welcome back, Rose,” Esme said, rounding the corner. Her eyes were particularly soft, and she smiled at the sight of me. “Have a good time?”

I felt sheepish. “Um... yes.”

”And the human?”

“Alive.”

She sighed happily and wrapped me in a hug. “I knew she would be. Come in, come in and tell me everything.”

If anyone else was home, they were very silent. I wished now that I had something akin to Edward or Alice’s powers — something that could give me a heads up. But when vampires don’t want to be heard, they aren’t. Not even by other vampires.

Esme settled me on the sofa and curled next to me, drawing her bare feet under her like a little girl would. She wore a soft terrycloth blue robe over silk pajamas, and her hair was loose in honey waves to her shoulders. If she were human, I would’ve assumed I’d woken her. But her eyes were bright, and she watched me closely. 

“So... I told her.”

Esme nodded. “As I expected you would.”

”And the rest of Alice’s vision came true.”

”Oh, _good_.” She gripped my arm suddenly, as if she couldn’t bear to hold in her excitement.

I swallowed, venom flooding my mouth all of a sudden. “Kissing her... it was like everything I’ve ever been afraid of fell off of me. It’s the first time I’ve kissed someone since... since Royce — ”

Esme stroked my arm as if to stop me. ”It’s alright, Rose.” 

“No, I need to finish. The last time I’d kissed someone it was Royce, sticking his whisky-reeking tongue down my throat. And I felt for so long that he left me dirty. I’ve felt filthy and _used_ for decades. But... that isn’t true, is it?”

Esme’s voice sounded strangled. “ _No_ , Rosalie. Nothing they did to you could ever sully you.”

The house was silent for a beat, but it felt warm. Esme’s body leaning against mine was like sitting by a fire — if it wasn’t physical warmth I felt, it was the strength of her love. Like waves, it crashed over me.

“You know,” Esme said, “I felt the same, for years after Carlisle turned me. What Charles did... the scars an abuser inflicts don’t just go away that easily. They linger.”

I put an arm around her shoulder and leaned my head on hers.

“Charles spent a long time isolating me from the people I loved. The abuse wasn’t... sudden. He worked up to it. I’ve compared it before to boiling a frog. He turned the heat up slowly, slowly, slowly under me until, before I knew it, I was a battered housewife. One of the women I always felt sorry for. 

“But you know,” she sniffed, “abusers are good at making it seem like what they do is our fault. My boiling water was all him, but I thought it was made of love. He only did what he did because he loved me, right? Because he wanted me to be the best I could be... and he punished me only because I’d let him down.”

I rubbed her shoulder and held her tight.

“I thought when Charles Jr came it would be better. But if anything it was worse. It was almost like he was jealous of the attention the baby got from me, when I was pregnant and soon after birth... before Jr died. 

“I used to be angry at women for staying in abusive marriages, especially after they had children. How could they do such a thing? But once I was _in_ one I knew. He made me feel alone, worthless, and that I’d be destitute without him. He threatened to push me down the stairs and kill Jr if I left him, or take him away once he was born. And I _believed_ him.”

I wasn't sure what to say, or if I should say anything at all. I'd heard this story before, of course, but never directly from Esme. It'd always been too painful for her.

"You know," I finally said, "I'm glad Alice doesn't remember what came before. It must be difficult for her, of course, but for both of us... such raw beginnings. To be frozen like this, with horrific abuse and torture and sadness as our last human memories? That must color the entirety of our afterlives. What a curse for us women."

Esme laughed wryly. "None of us had an easy beginning to this new life, did we? But fate certainly didn't favor us two. I do disagree on one point though... we don't have to let it color our afterlives at all."

I scoffed, but when Esme stiffened I pulled away to look at her. "Oh! I'm sorry. But... doesn't it live in you? Doesn't it torture you?"

Esme's eyes were big. She pulled her robe tighter around her. "Well, yes. And no."

"But... you killed yourself."

"Yes." She bit her lip and looked away. "And some part of me did die that day. When Jr died and all I had left was his father, I couldn't go back to him. I was determined to follow my son out of this world, because one without him wasn't one worth living in. But... then I woke up on a marble slab in Carlisle's mortuary. Yes, it was a horrible adjustment, but he gave me hope. Hope that there was something for me besides despair and pain."

I clutched my hands together so tightly I thought they'd break. 

"However," Esme said softly, "you didn't have such a kind segue into our world, did you?"

That was an understatement. My mind flashed to the moment I awoke in Carlisle's home, surrounded by strangers, and burning with thirst. Esme had been there, but she was still learning to control herself. And when it came out that Carlisle had changed me, not just because I'd been dying in the streets, but because he wanted me to be Edward's match? It wasn't even four days after my horrific assault, and Carlisle had planned out my future already. He may as well have wanted to pimp me out as a prostitute for all the difference it made. 

I'd made my peace with Carlisle, I really had. But the pain remained, so I transferred it to Edward, who seemed happy enough to be the target for my ire. How lucky he hadn't wanted me... his undead bride. _Pah._

"It's been," I mused, "a long eighty-some years."

"And you didn't have budding love to guide you through them. Not like I did."

I glanced back at her. I could understand why Carlisle being there for her had helped. But to think that the only thing to guide her out of despair of that magnitude was to land in another relationship? Carlisle may be an amazing partner and father figure, but he couldn't — and shouldn't — replace the child and husband that could've been. Such things to lose... and to simplify the situation to such a degree was insulting almost. 

"I hope you know, Rose," Esme said, breaking the monotony of my thoughts, "that loving Carlisle didn't magically fix me."

"I was wondering," I admitted.

"Mmm. No, nothing will ever completely heal the wound that losing my family caused. But when you have a chance to build a new family? It cauterizes the edges, at the very least. Because of Carlisle, I didn't hemorrhage to death."

I reached out and rubbed her knee.

"My Rose," she sighed, covering my hand with one of her own. "Let Bella cauterize this wound of yours. Just a little."

"That would do her a disservice."

Esme was silent for a moment, then inclined her head. "Maybe so. But people need each other, vampire or not. Nobody heals in a vacuum."

I softened somewhat. "I know you're trying to help. But part of me is screaming that dragging her into this is just asking for a world of hurt. I'm so... giddy, and I want to run to her right now and take her into my arms and hold her until she falls asleep, but I also wonder if I should just get as far away from her as I can and take all this baggage with me."

Esme just reached out and traced my cheek with her thumb. "Oh, Rosalie. You're worth all of that baggage and more. And if she hasn't run away screaming after finding out that you're a _vampir_ e? Well, she seems like a girl worth knowing."

I leaned into her hand in thanks. 

"When do you see her again?"

Before I could answer, Alice sheepishly emerged from the stairwell. "Day after next," she said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it's important to say that I listened to Hozier's Cherry Wine while writing this one. Go give it a listen.


	15. Double Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward insists on doing damage control.

"He just wants to help, you know," Alice tutted.

I grunted.

"And anyway," she continued, "how much trouble could he really get into? I'll be there!"

I tugged, then ducked out of the way as oil spilled from the pan. My pretty BMW had been overdue for an oil change, which I'd sadly neglected... not sure how I let that slip by me. Alice's ankles were visible on the opposite side of the car. I was tempted to swipe at them, but rolled out on my creeper seat and stood instead.

"Alice," I said, fixing her with a black stare, "Edward will sulk the entire time and you know it."

She pursed her lips, but her eyes twinkled. "I think it'd be cute. Us four on a double date. And Edward could tell you what she really thinks of you."

Something deep within me recoiled at that thought. It was one thing for me to constantly have a mental guard up, parroting this vapid character I'd dreamed up to protect my real thoughts from Edward's prying, but it was another for him to poke about in Bella's head. Bella's intriguing mind, full of compassion and curiosity and endless persistence, violated by his prying mental fingers...

"You know, Alice," I said carefully, "maybe I like the mystery. The pursuit is half the fun, isn't it?"

Her eyes narrowed. She turned away to stare out the open garage door and was silent for a long moment.

When she finally spoke, her voice was raspy. "He can't help it, you know. Just like I can't help mine."

_That's what I was afraid she was thinking._ "Ah, Alice - "

She cut me off with a sharp motion of her hand. "No, see, that's where we run into trouble, you and I. You don't have to live with this awful sense of being _other_. I wish I could turn it off, and so does he... but it's not that simple."

I sighed and joined her in staring out the open garage door, mindlessly twirling the oil cap between my hands. It was another grey day - the ones I'd grown to like, with their pregnant clouds and looming threat of impending rain - and the family had come back home yesterday morning. Emmett and Jasper played a dizzying game of Frisbee on the lawn. Carlisle and Esme sat on the porch swing, touching but turned away to focus on their individual hobbies (Carlisle on his medical journal, Esme poring over guesthouse schematics). Edward sat beneath a tree, watching Emmett and Jasper's game, but with his face turned slightly our way. Listening, most likely.

"I do wish he and I were closer sometimes," I murmured.

Even though she was out of my line of sight, I could _feel_ Alice's surprised reaction.

"Don't get me wrong," I said hurriedly, "he's a nitwit sometimes. And can be so, so hurtful, especially for someone who knows exactly what his words do to people. But for a long time, it was just him and I. Esme and Carlisle had each other, so it was up to Edward to help me get used to... all this. We both could've handled it better than we did."

"You were resentful," she whispered. "He told me."

"Yes. Partly."

"For what Carlisle did?"

I shrugged. "Yes and no. I resented the... expectation. To love Edward like Esme loved Carlisle. To just wake up and have that love at first sight fairytale."

Alice was quiet. Edward was motionless at the edge of my perception - now I was sure he was eavesdropping.

"I didn't make it easy for him to like me, you know," I said. "I made questionable decisions. I lashed out at Carlisle, and you know how Eddy boy idolizes the man. He took everything so personally - my frustration at my new life, my anger at men in general, when I... killed those men who hurt me. When I came home after _that_ \- well, you can imagine how he judged me."

"Why are you telling me this?" Alice asked.

I shrugged again. "It's nice to let it out. I've been trying to do that more lately."

Edward's face inclined towards us, but he still didn't look our way. He seemed not to focus on anything - instead his eyes glazed over, pointed somewhere into the grass between the garage and the house. His brows had drawn together, but the corner of his mouth twitched nearly into a lopsided smile. _There he goes again._

I nearly threw up my usual barricade of self-absorbed thoughts, but something inside me tugged a different direction. _So long as I'm being genuine, I may as well be truthful with the boy too._

_Edward,_ I focused, _I know you're angry about this. But could you at least be nice to my girl? She's important._

He still didn't look up. But he did smile - a true one this time.

_I'm not quite ready to bury whatever hatchet this is. There's some pent-up resentment here. And this human problem hasn't brought out the best in our relationship._

He turned away, glancing up at Carlisle and Esme. Our adoptive father reached out to catch one of Esme's curls and tuck it behind her ear - such a casual moment of intimacy for them, really, but monumental to me personally. To see them so in love... and to hope for the same....

"You deserve something like that, Rose," Edward whispered. As far away as he was, I could still pick it up off the breeze.

_And you'll come with us on this hike today? And be nice?_

I saw rather than heard his short chuckle. Then he nodded.

* * *

Edward insisted on driving.

His Volvo was only fit for a grandfather - seriously, who thought Volvos were "cool" cars? - but I made sure to keep it in good running shape. He dodged and wove in a careful web to avoid the speed traps he detected along the way, so we got to Bella's part of town in record time.

_2290 Calawah Way,_ I reminded him. 

When the head of the trail came into view around the bend, my gut lurched. She was already there, sitting on her red truck's tailgate, propping her chin up on her hands. Her feet swung.

Edward parked, a little too firmly for my taste, but I was eager to get out anyway. I practically flew from the car and hurried to her, unable to stop a grin from splitting my face just at the sight of her.

She perked up and flashed a gleaming smile back to me, then jumped from the truck in time to grab hold of my outspread hands. "Rose!"

"Bella," I breathed.

Her eyes flicked behind me, and her smile dropped slightly. Her posture changed, her shoulders hunching just a little. 

"That them?" she whispered.

"Yep," I chuckled. "And they can hear you."

"Oh!" She recomposed her face, then stepped away to greet Alice and Edward. "Hi. Erm - we haven't had a whole lot of time to talk, but Rose did mention you two were coming when she called yesterday. I'm Bella."

Alice all but bounced forward, surprising Bella with two quick kisses on either cheek. She took her hands and wrung them up and down. "Oh, Bella! I'm so excited to meet you! I'm Alice."

Bella just laughed and shot me a look. I just shrugged in response.

"And I'm Edward," Edward said, stepping forward with one hand extended.

Many things happened at once. Bella's hand rose to meet Edward's. A gust of wind caught up her braids and whipped her scent towards us. Alice gasped, eyes unfocused, and reached for Edward in a mindless panic. And Edward... he recoiled, as if Bella had slapped him.

" _Rose!_ Help me!" Alice screamed.

Edward's body coiled as if to spring, but Alice's grip on his wrist bought me time. I jumped between Bella and my brother, a roar ripping from my chest, and leapt for Edward's throat.

Edward was always the fastest of us, but he wasn't very strong. Alice's glimpse into - _what happened?!_ \- helped us get ahead of him, just barely, before he could rip Bella to pieces. And with such a threat to her? The one who made me feel alive? I could be strong enough to keep her safe. 

Even from him.

Edward lashed at me, arms flailing, but I was stronger. I gripped his neck and took him to the ground with the sheer velocity of my pounce, the world blurring around us. I smashed his head once, twice, against the gravel, but he didn't register it at all in his frenzy. He just spat and roared in my face, teeth snapping.

Then Alice helped me tip the scales even more in our favor.

She wasn't much for fighting, but despite her size she packed a punch. In a blip, only trackable by my own eyes, she'd pinned Edwards arms down above his head. I held him by his throat and sat on his torso, using my thighs to pin his writhing form even as gravel flew. I could hear it pinging against the Volvo and Bella's truck - 

_Oh god._

"Edward!" Alice screeched, staring into his wild eyes. "Edward, stay with me! You're stronger than this! You are."

I looked over my shoulder, hair swinging, to see Bella backed against her truck, eyes wide and a hand to her throat. A small cut bled from her hairline - I could only guess from a sharp flying stone. Her floral smell surrounded us, almost cloying in its intensity. At the smell of her blood Edward struggled even harder, his cries becoming desperate.

"Bella," I said, trying to keep my voice calm, "Get in your truck now."

She paused just a moment, then nodded and stumbled away.

I turned back to my brother, rage rising within me, and took one hand away from his throat just to bring it crashing down into his jaw. 

The trailhead rang with the sound of stone striking stone.

"Rose! Stop!"

I struck him again, then again. His cheekbone cracked.

Alice barreled into me, taking me by surprise. We both sprawled over Edward's legs, and panic flared so high I thought I'd choke. 

"No! He'll kill her!"

"Rose, Rose, listen to me," Alice hissed. "That's enough."

The panic made me feel unhinged. I would kill Alice too. I could. But - 

Edward was still beneath us.

Feeling me go still, Alice let me go. We both turned to our brother.

He just... lay there, one hand clutched over his mouth and nose. His eyes were screwed shut. As we watched, the crack in his face slowly sealed.

I fixed Alice with a wild stare, then scrambled to my feet. All I could do was choke, " _Bella,_ " in explanation, then run.


	16. Damage Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alice has a plan.

The truck door was shut. Bella hunched in the cab, slumped over the wheel, and I nearly ripped the door from the vehicle in my rush to get to her.

She jumped, and when she raised her face I could see it streaked with tears as well as blood. But I couldn't stop and comfort her. Not now.

"Please move over. May I drive?" I blurted.

Her eyes widened, but she wordlessly handed me the keys.

The seat bounced on ancient springs as I landed, shoved the keys in the ignition, and brought the red tank roaring to life. Alice's hand flashed white in the rearview mirror, but I ignored it, gunning the engine instead. The clutch complained as I shifted straight to third, wheels spinning on the gravel, and pulled back on the highway. Edward and Alice grew smaller and smaller behind us as I took Bella away - anywhere but back there.

The truck didn't go much faster than 50 mph. Edward could easily catch us if he wished to... maybe I should've scooped her up and run, deep into the forest. No, he could follow her scent for miles -

"Rosalie," Bella whispered.

I caught a glimpse of myself in her rearview mirror. My eyes were dark and wild, bits of my hair were sticking from my braid and grey dust was smeared all over my face. God, why did I think this was a good idea?

"Rosalie! We have to go back."

Rage. "No! You saw what almost happened."

"It was an accident."

I scoffed. "Not one I care to repeat."

Silence again, but for the roar of the truck. God, this thing needed a proper flush, some new lines run, probably a rebuilt clutch -

_No. It's not time to diagnose her vehicle, Rose. Keep it together._

A warm hand clasped one of mine where it gripped the wheel. "Rose."

I grunted.

Her grip tightened. "Rose, I knew what I was getting into. Something like this was bound to happen. And I'm okay. I really am. Just... worried."

"Ha! I would be too if I almost got eaten."

"No! I'm not worried about that."

I glanced at her in shock. Tears still streaked her cheeks, but the bleeding had stopped and her eyes were resolute. Her scent filled the cab, especially with fresh blood on the air, but none of it appealed to me anymore. Not now that it had almost gotten her killed -

"Rose," she said firmly, "I'm not worried about myself. You were there, and you protected me. I'm worried that... I made a bad impression."

_"What?!" Ridiculous. Stupid. Foolhardy._

"I know that sounds dumb," she admitted with a small laugh, "but really. It was important to me to... find some common ground with your family. I want them to like me."

I shook my head. "You want potentially psychopathic murderer vampires to... _like_ you? Do you have any concept of self-preservation?"

A shy smile spread across her face and she shrugged. "I knew you'd be there. You're what kept me from running and screaming. And I want the people who love you to love me too. Is that silly?"

I pried my hand from the wheel so I could hold hers. I pressed her black knuckles to my lips. "Not silly."

My rear pocket buzzed. I shared a glance with Bella before I pried out my cellphone and answered it with a gruff, "Hello?"

"Rose!"

I caught Bella's worried gaze and mouthed, _Alice._ "It's me. We're okay."

"But Edward's not. He just took off."

My gut dropped.

"He's not following you. I've seen that much. But... I _saw_ him heading to La Push."

" _La Push?_ Why?"

Bella shifted beside me. I could see her wringing her hands in the corner of my eye.

"He's beside himself. He kept babbling about Bella being _la tua cantante,_ like Aro said once. That unless he does something drastic he'll just end up killing her."

White hot rage flooded through me again. "He won't get the chance."

"That's what I'm afraid of. Unless he changes his mind pretty quickly, enough to change my vision of his future, he intends to break the treaty and force them to... remove him from that particular equation."

The river of rage in my limbs froze solid.

"Billy wouldn't allow it."

Alice was silent for a beat. "Rose, if Billy could turn like Jacob can, he'd kill Edward himself. And you know I can't see past those damn wolves, so I don't know what happens once he enters their lands. I fear for the worst."

I glanced at Bella, who'd been staring holes in the side of my face. Worry was written in every concerned line on her brow. I pressed my lips together, but I already knew what she would say if I asked. We couldn't wash our hands of this and disappear into the sunset.

I sighed and turned my eyes back to the road. "Alice, what do you need us to do?"

* * *

We left the truck parked on the side of the road. Where we were going, we needed speed... and the Chevy just wasn't it.

I'd meant to ease Bella into all of this, dammit. I'd never meant to launch straight into deadly threats, full vampire disclosure, trying to explain that her best friend was a fucking _werewolf_ , and... running through the forest with her clutched in my arms. But I had to admit, having her close to me like this - her shoulders hunched against the wind, face tucked into the cave created between her body and my collarbones - was all that made me feel grounded.

Her braids whipped in the wind. One got loose and went flying, and she clutched at the tiny bit of exposed natural hair.

As I dodged soaring pines and brushed through ferns, Bella cupped her cell to her ear and shouted, "Jacob!"

I could hear his worried voice on the other end - raspy and rich. "Bells? What's going on? I can barely hear you - "

"Listen to me!" she interrupted. "Edward Cullen is on his way to the rez. I need you to stop him before he gets there."

Jacob laughed, and my murderous rage rose again. "He's coming _here?_ I look forward to gutting that cold one when he does."

"No! That's what he wants! He _wants_ you to kill him."

Stunned silence. Then, "If he wants that, why shouldn't I give it to him?"

"Jake," Bella pleaded, "because it's important to me. Please help us stop him from breaking the treaty. Carlisle and the others are on their way to help, but they'll never get there in time. He's too fast."

I could see openness approaching through the wall of trees. We were getting close.

Jacob was silent for another beat, then spoke. "Okay, we'll do it. For you, Bells, and cuz Carlisle's good people."

I could feel Bella's relief. "Thank you, Jake. I owe you a whole keg of Mackinac."

"Don't mention it. Just get here quick."

Bella flipped her phone shut and snuggled closer to me. Something within me soared.

But the reservation was only seventeen miles from the trailhead where I'd left Edward broken and despairing on the gravel. Surely if he'd set off as soon as Alice had said, with the intention of going straight there, then he'd have already violated the Quileute lands. Maybe Alice's vision of him wasn't as cut and dry as she made it out to be - maybe her fear for his safety made her jump to conclusions?

No. I knew her better than that.

If he'd decided to go, maybe he didn't mean to go straight there. Maybe he would spend some time wallowing first... writing his notes and setting affairs straight?

Either way, we still needed to get to the reservation first.

As I broke from the cover of the trees and crested the naked hill with Bella in my arms, I detected the familiar footfalls of my brothers. Emmett and Jasper were just behind us. I paused at the top of the hill, glancing out over the Quileute reservation, and waited for them to get close enough for Bella to hear. There was no use in scaring her further. I intended to involve her in all of this from this moment forward, especially since Alice had seen only one thread where Edward came out of this alive - the only one where Bella was also.

I let Bella's feet down gently to the turf and helped her straighten up, keeping a lingering hand at her waist. She seemed somewhat shaken, but otherwise okay. _So strange._

"Rosalie!" Jasper called. He was at my side in a moment, all long limbs and flying blonde hair. Emmett was close behind, huge and hulking but with a brow creased in worry.

"Any sign of him?" I asked.

Emmett shrugged. "Not yet. Jazz?"

Jasper's eyes went out of focus for a moment, then came back to land on me. "I'm not as good at detecting specific people as Edward is, but I couldn't mistake that particular strain of self-loathing. It's faint, but he's nearby. Probably pacing and ruminating."

Bella turned to me with bewilderment in her eyes. I gave her a tight smile.

"Jasper here," I explained, "can feel the emotions of people around him. He can also manipulate them."

"But not without consent," Jasper insisted.

"Usually," Emmett scoffed.

The wind picked up again, sending Bella's braids spinning. She drew her jacket around her, and glanced up when my brothers both took a step back.

"Sorry," Jasper whispered. "It really is good."

I reached out and brushed his sleeve. "You're doing much better now than you did on the mountain."

"It's familiar to me now," he explained. "Doesn't mean I shouldn't be careful."

Bella surprised me with her silver-toned laughter. "I appreciate that! Really, I do. Wouldn't want another sibling battle to break out, would we?"

Emmett flashed me a delighted smile. "She's got fire."

Bella took my hand and squeezed it.

But we were wasting time. Alice had said we needed to be in place by noon, and the grey sky had become exceptionally bright almost directly overhead.

"Emmett," I said, tone firm, "I need you down on the beach. Jasper, you by the road leading into the rez. You'll have to be our Edward detector for as long as possible. And Bella - "

She tucked into my side, small and heart-breakingly fragile. Her heartbeat picked up, pounding like a drum in my ears.

"Bella," I whispered, pressing a kiss to her hair, taking in the smell of her, "Bells, I need you next to me here. Remember what Alice told us?"

She hummed in affirmation.

"Carlisle is with Jacob, with Esme covering their tails. We need to be ready for when Alice makes the call, okay? Can you do that?"

Bella turned her face towards me, the blood crusting on her dark skin. Her eyes were flooded with tears again, but her chin was set.

"You know I'd do anything for you by now, right?" she whispered, the corner of her lip lifting.

I clutched her to me and pressed a desperate kiss to her mouth. Her tiny moan sent lightning dancing on my skin.

By the time we parted, Emmett and Jasper had disappeared from the hill. We were in place.

We were ready.


	17. The Blacks

The wind smelled of her now.

She tugged thoughtfully on her braids, twirling them and twisting their ends and wrapping them into a bun on her head, just to release them and send them spinning around her shoulders. Her huge brown eyes seemed far away.

"How long did you know?" she finally asked. "That Jake was a... he was — "

"A werewolf?"

She flinched at the word.

I leaned back, bracing my hands against the ground behind me, and let her scent wash over me in waves. We may as well have set up a massive, flashing neon sign for Edward, pointing directly at us and spelling out, "Free Lunch Here!"

"Not long," I said. "We haven't had much contact with the tribe since we came back. We both preferred it that way. But the last time we were here, our presence caused Billy's ancestor to turn, as well as a few others. It was easy to assume that us moving here would cause a few others to turn as well."

"But that's not knowing. That's just assuming."

I sighed.

As my silence stretched on, Bella's tension grew and she finally blurted out, "But it makes sense, I guess, in some fucked up way. He explained it to me in those stories when we were kids. I just never thought... of _course_ they couldn't be true."

I glanced at her. She was ripping up bits of grass and twisting them together before casting them aside. Keeping her hands busy while she stared down the hill to the land beyond.

"Bella," I murmured, leaning until I bumped her shoulder, "I told you two days ago that I was a vampire. Not a week before that you dug me out of the side of a mountain. Today, my brother tried to rip you to shreds. But you draw the line at Jake, your best friend, being a werewolf?"

She laughed, devoid of emotion, and ended with a choked, "But you were all so... obviously different."

She cast her eyes up at me. They were swimming with tears. "You're... otherworldly. It's easier to believe that you're some glamorous angel come back from the dead. But Jake — " she hiccupped — "he's warm and safe and _normal_."

My stomach dropped.

"Bella," I rasped, "would you rather... maybe you should go down and join him on the reservation. We'll keep Edward from passing the borders."

She cast a sharp look at me. I couldn't meet her eyes.

"You idiot," she scoffed.

"What?"

"You're jealous."

I pushed up from the ground and stalked off, just a few steps away. I wanted to run, to find Edward and shred him to pieces — anything that could keep me from looking back at Bella Swan.

"Yeah, okay, maybe I am jealous," I finally spat. "I'm jealous that Jacob got to grow up with you. That he gets to be close to you in a way that I probably never will. That he gets to be normal — and I'm this."

I heard Bella rise, her foot catching and making her stumble. I wanted to catch her.

"Rosalie, you're being dumb. I kinda like it, actually — it's nice to know you're not perfect."

I whipped around and she was right there... only a couple inches away, eyes sparkling.

"Rose," she breathed, "Jake is my best friend, and I'm keeping him — wolf or not. And I've never loved him like... like that." She caught herself, then laughed. _Such a gorgeous laugh._ "Rosalie Hale, I hoped you'd figured it out by now, but I guess I should tell you. I am _so fucking gay._ "

She shocked me into laughter, but I only had a moment to process before she clutched the sides of my face and lunged, capturing my mouth with her own.

Her _scent._

Notes of freesia and peony swirled around us, carried by an undercurrent of intriguing musk that coated the back of my throat. Something roared in me to kiss every inch of her skin, explore her fingertips, her stomach, the edges of her bones with my tongue...

And there was _her_ tongue, pressing against my lips, begging to be let in.

Her arms were all around me, her braids trailing on my skin, the pulsing of her blood pounding, pounding, filling my ears and just a tooth's graze away —

My phone buzzed.

Bella pulled away with a gasp, letting the edge of her lip linger against my own. Her breath was sweet.

I allowed my mouth to glide across her cheek, grazing my lips as I went against the edge of her jaw, the rising slope of her throat, and nosing into the pocket of scent between her neck and earlobe. I finally grunted regretfully and reached for my pocket, lightning fast.

 _I can't see anything with the wolves here,_ Alice's words read across the screen, _but Jasper hears him approaching. Grief, anger, and determination, he says. Be ready and help her scent fill the valley._

I growled and turned to Bella. Her eyes were huge.

"Are you still okay with this?"

She immediately nodded. "He won't come near once he smells me. Alice said so."

Rage rose in me again, along with sour notes of fear. "I hate putting you in harm's way. I literally just beat Edward to a pulp to get you out of that situation, now I'm putting you back in it."

"I'm not back in it," she assured me. She stroked my cheek with the side of her thumb. "You're here. Jasper, Alice, Emmett, everyone is here. I'm amazed at how you all come together to protect him, and to protect me. It feels... it feels like being cared for."

"We _do_ ," I said, swelling with the strength of all the emotions I'd never be able to express. "We do care for you. And they'll love you, I know they will, because I do."

Bella's eyes widened, and I realized too late what I'd insinuated. _Oh god..._

She stood on her tip toes and pulled me down in order to plant a soft, lingering kiss on my forehead, then on the tip of my nose, then on my lips. She landed back on her heels with a soft thud and smiled up at me before shrugging and emitting a tiny squeal of what I could only describe as... delight?

"I've drawn blood from a stone," she whispered, almost as if to herself. Then she tugged on my hand.

"I'm ready."

* * *

Running with her in my arms felt like the most natural thing I'd done all day. Our downhill path curved towards the road that led into the reservation, and the air had been saturated with Bella's scent from the time we'd spent in the wind atop the hill. The trail we blazed only helped the wind carry it further and further, drawing it across the path Edward must take to get to the reservation, strong and mouthwateringly delicious.

I swiftly approached the border at the road, our path taking us straight to a copse where Carlisle, Jasper, and the rest stood. Just inside the boundary was who I could only assume was Billy Black, seated in a wheelchair beside the open door of his parked truck. A carbon copy of him, younger and stronger and surefooted, stood by with one hand on the wheelchair's back handle, his face set in revulsion and his long hair swirling around his bare shoulders — none other than Jacob Black, the alpha.

Bella's hand tightened its clutch on my shirt at the sight of him, and the tenseness in her spine released. I could only assume that she felt relief that Jacob was there, and that no one had been hurt, but I couldn't help but feel a sharp pang of jealousy.

At the sight of her, Jacob's face split into a dazzling smile. He left Billy's side to come jogging — fast, for a human — to her, but paused when I didn't immediately set her on her feet. His eyes flicked sharply to mine, but then turned to her with nothing but fondness.

"Ay, chica!" he said, voice husky and warm. "Got yourself into some deep shit without me around, huh?"

Bella shrugged. "What else is new?"

Jake laughed, but there was an edge to it. "A couple things," he muttered.

He reached as if to take her from me, but I clutched her tight. A subconscious rumble began in my chest, but Bella smoothed her hand over my back before the growl became audible. Only when she lifted her head from my shoulder did I finally set her down.

We walked together, Bella and Jacob chatting under their breath, towards our families at the border. I could hear the two of them, but I wished I could tune it out — the longer I could dislike Jacob, the better, but the more he spoke the more fond of him I felt. 

He was really... considerate of her. He listened as she described our run-in with Edward, how I'd reacted, and how quickly the other Cullens had jumped into action. If he was livid at Edward — which I was sure he was — he kept it under wraps until she'd finished speaking. And when he reached out and clasped one arm around her shoulders, it truly appeared as if he simply wished to express that he was there for her. Nothing more.

Yes. Maybe I could like Jacob Black after all.

As we drew near, Carlisle stepped forward to meet us. His brow was creased with concern, but his eyes were kind as always.

"Bella! So wonderful to meet you," he said, reaching out to clasp her dark hand in his white one. "I only wish it were under different circumstances."

Bella chuckled. "What, this isn't standard for a second date with a vampire?"

Carlisle's eyelid flickered, nearly imperceptibly, then he turned on his glowing smile. "I guess you've been somewhat prepared."

"And hardier than any of us expected," I interjected.

Jacob laughed. "That's Bells for you. Has no clue when she's in over her head, but is happy to be included anyway."

Bella leaned back and shoved him playfully. "You shut it! You're making me look bad in front of the _vampires_."

I turned away, letting the two of them scuffle while Carlisle tried to tease them back into joining the rest of us. My eyes were fixed instead on Esme, who looked on with a smile nearly splitting her face in two.

"So," I said, sidling up to her. "That's her."

Esme clutched at my hand, her eyes fixed on Bella as if she was the most precious thing she'd ever seen. "I love her already, my sweet one."

"What, just from looking at her?"

The warm waves washed over me again, filling me up with contentment and comfort. When Esme spoke, her voice was like melted caramel.

"Yes, I do already. She makes you _glow._ "

While Esme was clutching my hand, Alice and Jasper were just a step beyond us, both of them focused on the surrounding woods. Alice, I could tell, was trying to hear, smell, see anything, while Jasper was reaching out with his attuned emotional barometer. 

"Any luck?" I asked.

"Not... not yet," Jasper said. "When you came down the hill he moved further out."

He glanced at me, then Bella, and let a smile spread over his face. 

"What?"

"You really are glowing. And it's nice to feel her glowing too."

If I could blush, I would've. "Quit that. You've got something else to focus on right now."

Alice gasped, then clutched blindly at my sleeve.

I whipped towards her. "What? Where?"

Bella and Jacob laughed and tussled behind us. Esme and Carlisle's heads were bent towards each other as they conducted a murmured conversation. Emmett emerged from the tree line near the border, covered in pine needles and rain, eyes fixed on us. And beyond, furthest away from all of us, was Billy Black, his lip curled with disgust.

But that's not where Alice was focusing. She was pointing farther out, towards a white flash among the trees. The flash convalesced as it approached, turning into the outline of a man nearly a mile away. 

Edward stopped, barely within sight, and stared towards us. Towards the finish line that we so jealously guarded.

"Don't run," Alice breathed.


	18. What Alice Sees

Edward was a small white dot to Bella and Billy, but to the rest of us... we could detect every line drawn on his face, the anguished turn of his lip, and the twigs in his messy copper hair. My own eyes lingered on his cheekbone, where not even an hour before I'd carved a crack.

He'd deserved it, of course. Part of me wished he could keep that scar as a reminder.

"She's with you," he spat, voice low, but still carrying to our supernatural ears.

A snarl rose in my throat. Bella gripped my sleeve.

"Edward," Carlisle said, "Don't be rash. This is easily dealt with."

Edward began to pace, one hand buried in his hair, the other picking at his collar, lip, ear. The poor boy was undone.

"Carlisle, you don't understand," he finally said. "She's... the way she smells to me? It's _agony._ And there's a cruel creature roaring in me to tear into her, just... rip her apart and drain her dry — "

The snarl caught in my throat erupted into a roar. I pitched forward into a sprint, heading full-tilt for Edward's fucking head, my vision narrowing into a pinprick of light focused directly on my brother's tortured face.

Hands reached to grasp at me — Esme's and Alice's, most likely — but my reaction was so abrupt that they hadn't had time to get a good grip. Their fingers just ripped through the sleeves of my flimsy jacket.

Edward was in my hands in a fraction of a second. He just closed his eyes.

"You _fucker!_ " I screeched, wrenching him to the ground.

"Rosalie!" Alice cried.

Edward raised his hands, not to strike me, but to shield his head as I took us both toppling down. I had him trapped for the second time in just as many hours, rage coursing through my body, and I pinned his hands to either side of his face. My teeth lurched within inches of his nose.

"You won't touch her," I hissed.

He opened his eyes. Resignation lived in them. 

"That's why I'm here," he whispered, "To make absolutely sure I won't."

Running footsteps approached, but I ignored them.

I seethed, "You self-absorbed shitstain. What will this accomplish, huh? Killing yourself? Really? Think of what that would do to Esme. To _Alice!_ "

"I know, Rose, I know," he groaned, "but I'll never forgive myself if I take _her_ from you. You just found her."

His words hit me like a hammer. I just stared, dumbfounded, and barely registered when hands gripped me from behind and pried my fingers from Edward's wrists. I dumbly sensed Jacob Black, carrying Bella, somewhere to my left. He set her down and she ran to my side.

"No!" Edward cried, but Jasper and Emmett both held him as her scent washed over us all.

Then she was there, all trembling gasps and fingers, pressing her lips to my cheek and clutching at my hands. How small she was, in the midst of all of this.

And Edward was willing to kill himself so I could be happy.

Me.

Rosalie Hale. Queen bitch.

I let Bella touch me as Alice clutched Edward to her, her voice rising in a sob of relief.

* * *

Jacob and Billy were happy to see us go, but Jacob made Bella promise to go longboarding with him one of these days. She said she would.

Bella put her foot down when I asked her to go back home for the moment, but relented once Esme took her aside and explained. I’m still not sure what she said to her, but I was confident that Bella was just as entranced by our mother as we were. And so, thank the gods, Bella gave me a lingering kiss and took her thundering beast of a truck trundling back into Forks, far, far away from any vampires. For now.

It wasn’t until we were back to our own home that the situation exploded again.

In Esme’s gorgeous front parlor, Edward took a moment to shuffle and whine while Alice and Carlisle tended to him. I just sat and glowered on Emmett’s La-Z-Boy, full of conflicting emotions. Jasper folded his lanky body into the couch beside me and covered my clenched fist with his enormous hand. 

“It’s difficult,” he whispered, “feeling sympathy for someone who could hurt you, and _has_ hurt you, so badly.”

”It’s not _sympathy_ ,” I spat. 

He quirked his eyebrow at me. One corner of his mouth lifted in a smirk.

“Are you trying to tell _me_ how you feel?” he drawled.

I grumbled.

Emmett’s lumbering body approached and loomed over us before he flopped onto the couch beside Jasper like a giant cat. “Wassup?”

”Plenty,” Jasper said before planting a kiss on his mouth. 

Emmett lingered, eyes closed, before grinning huge and chuckling. “That bad, huh? I didn’t even get tongue.”

”Shuddup, you jerk.”

The two of them devolved into something that looked like bickering mixed with tussling, so I gently removed Jasper’s hand from mine and rose. In a flash I was beside Alice. 

She’d stopped trying to talk sense into Edward, and left the job to Carlisle. She instead leaned against the door jamb, her hand covering her mouth. A stray sunbeam sent rainbow prisms from her skin across the wood floor. 

“He, um...” she faltered. “He wants to move us back to Alaska.” 

I blinked. “That bad?”

This wouldn’t be the first time Alice and Edward had moved out on their own, but they looked startlingly young, so it was difficult for them to do so for long without attracting concern. They managed so long as they moved upon graduating college. 

But for them to move because they’d been chased away...

”You’re not chasing us away!” Edward spat.

"Then why are you going?" 

Carlisle frowned and reached for Edward's shoulder. "Rose, it's not — "

"What?" I asked. "Not that easy? Not that simple?"

I glanced towards Alice to draw her into the conversation, but realized with a pang that her eyes were a million miles away. They darted from side to side, glossy. Then she shut them with a deep sigh.

Esme reached out and touched her. "Any change?"

Alice shook her head.

"What's going on?" I asked. Dread raised its dirty head.

A hand touched my arm. Carlisle's. 

Esme's eyes went wide, and she reached out as if to stop me from leaping to conclusions. "It's not — it'll be alright, she saw it — "

"She saw _what?_ "

Carlisle's hands were more insistent now, gripping both my shoulders from behind. "My girl," he said, "My Rose, listen to us. It's not as cut and dry as we'd hoped — "

"I'll tell her," Alice said. 

The room grew still.

Her eyes darted to meet mine, then lowered. "When you were... charging off with Bella, after Edward met her, I had another vision. One I wanted to tell you about in person once Edward and Bella were safe."

Venom had filled my mouth. I swallowed it. "So?"

"So?" she said. "I keep having the same one. Different scenarios, all ending the same way."

"Oh my fucking _god_ , Alice, so help me — "

"It's Bella," she finally said with a burst of passion. "It's Bella and it changes everything we thought and if Edward and I could just go, just for a little while, until she's changed then everything will be alright and nobody will get hurt and Edward won't have killed — "

"Stop." Carlisle said. 

Silence.

My limbs felt like tree branches. "Until she's _changed?_ "

Alice's eyes were full of unspoken apologies, so she just nodded.


	19. Netflix & Chill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is where this story finally earns that M rating. (Also pacing is hard c’mon.)

Alice and Edward were gone before dawn.

They didn't say exactly where they were going - I thought Alaska, like they'd mentioned, but they never confirmed - and now it was only the five of us in the house.

And I couldn't stand it.

I wasn't going to sit around listening to Jasper and Emmett whisper sweet nothings to each other and wrestle over Jasper losing Mario Kart... again. And I wasn't in the mood to see the little gestures and expressions of affection between Carlisle and Esme as they went about their day.

No, I wanted to be with Bella.

* * *

"Hello?"

I sighed at the sound of her voice on the other end of the phone. "Hi. It's me."

"Rose!"

"Can I come over?"

She paused. "It's... six in the morning."

Shit. I glanced at my phone's clock. She was right.

"Sorry, I don't sleep, remember? So I just lost track of time. Still, I shouldn't've - "

"Rose, no, it's totally fine. I'm just at my dad's house is all. Beau, Charlie and I had some quality family time yesterday after... all that. We watched football and ate nachos."

The discomfort was palpable. I couldn't stand knowing that, while I was terrified for Bella's life, I'd had the selfish fear of how I'd go on without her... but didn't even consider how devastating it would've been for the Swan family as a whole. And Beau was still so young; he needed his older sister.

_The one who'd become a vampire someday._

"Is that okay?"

I snapped back to reality. "Hmm?"

"Meet me at my place? In like two hours?"

My gut leapt at the thought. "I'd love that."

"I live in Beaver, just north. It's far enough away for some space from Charlie and my old high school pals, but still close enough for me to commute to the ranger station for work. Lemme get you the address."

* * *

Bella's place was a tiny cabin with a blue tin roof, tucked with its back to the Olympic National Park. Her truck had carved muddy tracks in the place of a driveway, and her yard was mostly moss. As I pulled up and killed the BMW's purring engine, I noticed a flicker of a face spying out the front window - when she ducked away, the faded lace curtains fluttered.

I felt too big, too awkward, as I approached her door. I wore comfortable clothes - just leggings and an oversized blue sweater with rubber boots - but still felt out of place. I didn't know what to do with my hands... so I just knocked on the door.

Before I could even finish _Shave and a Haircut,_ the door flew open. Bella smiled sheepishly at me, her white teeth gleaming in the gloom between indoors and outdoors, and she reached out to complete the knock with _Two Bits._

"Hi," she breathed.

I don't know what possessed me to do it. Maybe it was the joy in seeing her face again after the events of yesterday. Maybe it was the fact that her entire house was inundated with her scent, surrounding me like a cloud. Maybe it was just the fact that she was there, and that I could.

Instead of responding with words, I had her face in my hands in a flash and pressed my mouth against hers.

She moaned ( _such a delicious sound_ ) and slammed the door behind me. Her hands were on my back, gripping and clawing, and I sunk my fingers into her hair.

It felt different.

I pulled away, sheepish, and twisted a lock of it between my fingers. Her eyes were inches from mine, and she leaned in as if to protest me ending the kiss so soon, but she laughed when she realized what I'd discovered.

"I took the braids out last night," she said. "The roots grew out."

I just kept her head cradled in my hands, feeling the hair. "It's so soft."

Bella tucked her chin with a chuckle. "It's a beast. Dad said I got his instead of Renee's good hair."

I just cocked my head. "But I like it. It's good."

"No no, _good_ hair."

Bella pulled away from my embrace and I let her. As she did, the light from her front window illuminated her and I could finally admire her whole self at once. Her head was wreathed in a soft halo of combed out hair, pitch black and fine, and she was dressed simply in a thin white tank and grey sweatpants. She walked into her living room, tugging at the hair at the nape of her neck, and began rearranging throw pillows on her couch.

I understood that desire to tidy. She was nervous.

I pitched one muddy boot, then the other, in her entryway, then came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. "You don't have to do that just because I'm here."

She leaned back into me "But I want to."

"Do you want to, or do you feel expected to?"

She pulled away again and turned to face me. Even as close as we were, I caught sight of her ample chest and realized she wasn't wearing a bra. God, I wanted to reach out and touch her...

"Wanna watch something?"

I blinked. _Focus._ "Sure!"

Her soft lips pressed together in a small smile. If I didn't know any better I'd think it was coy. "Pretty sure there's some good stuff on Netflix."

If there was a joke somewhere in there, I didn't get it. I chuckled anyway, just to cover my bases, and she seemed pleased enough.

Her TV was little, and her couch was creaky and small, but I got to touch Bella Swan. She curled up against me with a fluffy microfiber blanket and took possession of the controller. I just draped one arm around her and stretched until my bare feet rested on her tiny coffee table. That's when she put on _Supernatural._

"Really?" I teased.

Her eyes were big, but she snuggled in closer to the curve of my granite body. "I thought it'd be funny. Plus I've only seen the first few episodes."

My laughter was barely audible, more like rumbling in my chest, but she got even closer and smiled contentedly.

The first episode went by. I didn't register any of it - I was too focused on how soft she was, how smooth and warm her skin was, her scent, her little laughs and gasps. She turned once and the side of her breast pressed against my arm for a full thirty seconds, and in those thirty seconds it took everything in me not to touch her, crush her against me and bury my lips in the curve of her neck...

I felt like I was on fire.

By the end of the third episode, Bella was practically in my lap. She didn't seem bothered at all by how hard I was, or how cold, and every now and then I caught her tucking her face against my shoulder and taking a deep breath. _So, she enjoys how I smell too?_

Finally, a vampire appeared in one of the episodes. I hadn't registered how many we'd seen, but the way Bella laughed brought me back to earth and helped me focus on the actual media I was supposed to be watching.

"Just look at the way their extra teeth slide out," Bella said, voice soft and breathy.

It was campy and terrible, but I loved it. "That's so dorky."

She paused, still staring at my face, then asked, "Do you? How do - where do you keep your - "

"Fangs?"

She nodded.

"I don't have any."

She blinked, confusion flickering in her eyes. "But - "

"I just have really sharp teeth."

Her eyes focused on my mouth. "So, when we kiss?"

"I'm very, very careful."

The crease between her eyes deepened, and she dropped her eyes to her hands. They fiddled with the corner of her blanket.

"What's wrong?"

She shrugged. "It's embarrassing."

"Nothing's embarrassing to me." _Liar._ "I promise I won't laugh.

Her left hand twisted the blanket once, twice, then grazed across her lap and came timidly to rest on my thigh. It was so warm.

Urgency built in me in a way I hadn't felt before. It was like my core was heating up, and an unbearable... _bruised_ feeling began to spread between my legs. I desperately wanted pressure.

"I just..." she breathed. "I... want to be close to you. But I want you to be able to, you know, feel safe with me. Be able to _let go_ with me."

She met my eyes. If I had a heart, it'd be pounding.

"I'll be careful," I whispered.

She shook her head. "I don't want you to be."

"I could... could I just - "

With sudden urgency, Bella gripped my hand and brought it to her waist. "Rosalie, please just _touch_ me."

Almost before she completed her request, my mouth was on her neck. I curled my arm around her and brought her down, down, until we tussled off the sofa and splayed on the carpet. She was giggling, and I felt giddy and drunk.

She was beneath me, and _she wanted me to touch her._

Tentatively, I grazed my hand up her side, under the swell of her breast, and paused. Her giggles faded into that plaintive moan I loved so much, and her back bowed to lift her chest.

I settled on the floor beside her, my left hand under her head, leaving my right hand free to roam over her body. Her tank had ridden up, exposing the soft curve of her belly and just a hint of the underside of a breast. I lay my palm on her belly, loving how soft her little pooch was, my skin sensitive to every hair that ringed her belly button and trailed down into the waistband of her pants.

I drug the flat of my hand up, up, relishing her little shivers, until my thumb brushed the rise of her chest.

Bella's eyes flew open with a sharp gasp.

My stomach dropped. "Is that okay?"

She couldn't speak. She just nodded.

Her eyes were fixed on mine as I slowly, slowly, slid my hand up under her shirt, finally cupping her impossibly soft breast. Her eyes rolled back when I found her nipple, and her whole body tensed when I teased it between my fingertips.

Released from her gaze, I let my eyes roam over her body. Impatient, I finally tugged at her tank top until I had it over her head and off.

She was incredible.

Her dark skin was so beautiful and warm contrasted against my white hand. Her breasts, ample and soft, spread under the force of gravity and culminated in gorgeous black nipples. Her areolas were surprisingly large, and I just wanted to take the entirety of each in my mouth.

_No. Be careful._

I lowered my head. The scent of her skin was intoxicating. I tentatively licked her nipple.

The moan from Bella's throat was a new kind of beautiful. It sent lightning strikes to my groin, and, encouraged, I wrapped my cold lips around that nipple and licked it again, again, with increasing pressure.

Bella wrapped her arms around me and buried her hands in my hair, fingers spasming at the roots. Her strangled moans made me drunker.

Keeping my lips carefully locked around her nipple, my hand moved southward. I tucked my fingers under the waistband of her pants, delighting in the warmth of her bare skin, and discovered that she wore no underwear. I chuckled, the vibrations of it sending Bella into a fit, and pushed on.

I encountered her hair, coiled tightly against her skin. I found a hip bone, buried under the softness of her skin and flesh, and I found the line that flowed from that hipbone down, down, until I finally traced the point where her thigh met her pelvic bone.

Bella's hips jerked, unintentionally by the sound of her awkward squawk, and I laughed again, moving from that nipple to the other.

That skin flowed into a soft, hairy lip. I found where those two lips met, then slowly, _slowly_ , followed it downwards with two fingers until -

_God, she was so wet._

Bella bucked against me and tucked her face into the curve of my arm. Worried, I released her nipple and rose to kiss the crown of her head, hand frozen in her pants.

"Is this - "

" _Don't stop._ "

I pressed two fingers down again. A guttural moan. I cupped my hand, slick and hot with her body heat, and searched until I found and lifted that tiny hood.

Bella shook, tense.

I grazed her exposed clit with my index finger.

She shrieked.

"God, _yes,_ " I growled, flicking my finger across it again. I gripped her tight, memorizing every shudder, every desperate cry.

Bella's eyes flew open. "Rose - Rose please, I need - "

"Yeah, baby? What do you want?"

I pressed the heel of my hand against her clit, loving the way she ground against it.

"Rose I want - I want your fingers - "

I slid those fingers down, searching in the slick, hot mess of her pussy, until -

"AaaAAAH!"

Her eyes were wide, locked on mine, mouth gaping, every muscle locked as I slid my index and ring finger home. I froze, hand curled inside her, just grinning like the cat that got the cream.

And then I began to rock my fingers inside her.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Rose!" Bella rasped, hoarse.

I just focused, increasing my speed incrementally, loving the way her cunt sounded as I fucked her. I loved the way her body twitched, how sweat broke out across her chest, how the sheer amount of heat her core generated warmed my hand and arm. I introduced my thumb, flicking it spastically against her clit as I thrust with my fingers, loving how it drove her absolutely insane.

Finally, I leaned down and showered her neck, her throat, with kisses, my teeth millimeters from the pulsing, pounding of her blood. Her scent cloyed in my nostrils, at the back of my gullet, and a different, muskier one joined it as she only got wetter under my hand.

She was moaning more urgently now, the sharp shriek every time I hit her clit getting more frequent and desperate. I sped up as only a vampire can without tiring, still not sure what I was doing but knowing from how she sounded that she liked it, until -

"Fuck, _fuck_ , **_fuck!_** R-Rosalie!"

And there she was. Her orgasm broke over my hand like a cresting wave, her cunt clenching spasmodically around my fingers. Then she was pushing at my hand, groaning, and I stopped, dragging it away and out of her pants as she slumped against me, boneless.

She was so beautiful.

I kissed my way up, up, over her throat, chin, until I found her lips. She kissed me back, exhausted, and smiled sleepily when I pulled away.

"Was... was that what you meant?" I asked, suddenly feeling sheepish.

She chuckled weakly. "Sorta, yeah."

I looked away, embarrassed. I regarded my right hand instead, loving that it was still soaked, some of her cum stretching between my fingers when I spread them. Without even thinking, I brought my fingers to my mouth.

I could feel her eyes on me as I licked them clean. A soft moan escaped her lips.

"Bella," I whispered, finally, "You taste so sweet. I can't wait to try - "

She cut me off with another kiss.

"That," she murmured, pulling away, "you should save for another day."

And the credits for the _Supernatural_ season finale rolled.


	20. Telling the Truth

She was kind enough to turn off the television when she got up.

I didn’t want her to move. I just wanted to hold her, tangled on the floor, until the sky went dark. But the human had human needs, apparently. 

She moved about her little cabin, joints loose and relaxed but still humming with an odd, anxious energy, taking out ingredients for mac and cheese and spilling them, forgetting where her pans lived, misplacing her spoon, and refusing to let me help at all. 

“Just stay right there,” she laughed when I moved to catch the empty box of Kraft. I chuckled when she threw it and missed the bin completely. 

I didn’t want to obey her. So I didn’t. 

Instead I stood, silent as only I could be, and crept towards her while she stood over the stove. My stocking feet made no sound on her carpeting, and I even held my breath. 

Seeing her, unaware of my approach, switched something in my brain. What had started as a playful tease turned into something that felt like… hunting. But —

I really _didn’t_ want to hunt her. 

_What was this?_

My mouth filled with venom, eyes honed in on the beautiful curve of her neck. Everything in me screamed for me to kiss it, lock my lips onto it, make her eyes roll back into her head with the force of my tongue on her skin…

And then _bite_.

No. Rosalie. You don’t want to hurt her.

_Not hurt. Only bite._

Carpet turned into linoleum under my feet. 

I shook my head, once, hard. Swallowed the venom down. 

Then I laced my arms around her waist and buried my face in the little fuzzy hairs at the nape of her neck. 

She jumped a little, then settled back against me with a shiver. “Oh, don’t _do_ that.” 

I wanted to tease her. I wanted to keep the mood light and fun.

But my previous urge scared me.

“Bella, there’s something I need to tell you.”

She turned her head quizzically, then moved the little pan of macaroni off the burner. 

“Let me finish this first and you can tell me.”

I planted a chaste kiss on her skin, then settled into one of the rickety chairs at the tiny folding table in her eat-in kitchen. 

She moved more nervously now than before. Steam billowed when she dumped the water and noodles, milk glugged and powder whispered from the packet, and her shaking hands ferociously stirred until her gloop turned a homogeneous shade of orange. Then she served it up in a bowl and sat opposite me, spoon in hand and eyes wary. 

“Okay, now, tell me what’s wrong.”

I shrugged. “It’s less that… something’s wrong, and more like you deserve to know.”

“Now you’re really worrying me.”

She took a huge bite with a ragged sigh, eyes fixed on my mouth. Even her chewing was staccatoed. 

“So,” I said, “Edward and Alice went away for a while. So you’ll be safe.”

“Oh.” She winced. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. He was really pissing me off.”

She laughed nervously. 

“They won’t be gone long, Alice said. Just until…”

She watched me trail off, head inclined towards me. When I wasn’t forthcoming, she jabbed her spoon in my direction. “Until?”

I bit my lip. “Did I explain to you about Alice?”

She was taken aback by my change of direction. “What _about_ Alice?” 

“Well, in all the insanity with Edward, I didn’t even think to tell you that some of my siblings have extra… traits that come with being a vampire.”

She blinked. “Um. That’s wickedly cool. Like… flying? Turning into a bat?” 

I laughed. “No no, not like that. But Jasper? Remember, I told you he can feel the emotions of people around him, and change them? The rest are similar. Edward can… hear people’s thoughts.”

Bella just blinked. “Huh. Weird.”

“You’re telling me. But Alice? Remember when she said Edward wouldn’t come near the rez if he could smell you? She doesn’t just know Edward really well — she _saw_ it.” 

“Saw it… like…”

“Like seeing the future.”

Her eyes flew wide. “Oh. Okay.”

“And it’s not set in stone. It depends on what decisions people make. Like, she saw my future with you when I first met you, and there were two options — either I’d kiss you in the woods outside the diner, or I’d… kill you.”

The breath whooshed out of her. She turned away from me and glanced out the window, mouth working, food forgotten. 

“Like, I get that you’re a vampire,” she finally said, “and I knew something was… wrong and dangerous about you when I found you on that mountain. But no part of me ever felt like you’d hurt me.”

Pain jangled through what used to be my nerves.

“So I guess I’m glad you didn’t,” she continued. “And… even if you had… there’s a terrible, confused, dark part of me that wouldn’t have cared.” 

I could feel my gaze intensifying. I wished I could read her mind like Edward… but also glad I couldn’t. 

“There’s more,” I said gently. 

Her eyes darted back to mine. 

Dread built in me. She knew my dark beginnings, but not all. I hadn’t told her just how… just how far I’d gone —

“Bella, I told you about Royce and the others. But I didn’t tell you about afterwards.”

Her eyes were huge.

“When I woke, I was so hungry, so angry, and so betrayed. I wanted nothing more than to kill and consume. I wanted to destroy the lives of the men who’d done this to me… but I already loved Carlisle too much, even though I felt like what he’d done was a betrayal. So I focused all my rage on Royce and his friends. 

“In the first few months of being a vampire, I got my revenge on them. I… killed them all. One by one. I didn’t consume them — I just crushed them, drowned them, and reveled in seeing the fear in their eyes when they saw me, knowing that I came back from the grave just to exact my revenge. And I saved Royce for last.”

Her eyes were still wide. Shining tears stood in them, and she gripped the edge of the table so hard her knuckles jutted. 

But I was too far in now to walk it back. She was right to be afraid of me. 

“Royce knew I was coming. It’s what I wanted. And his _fucking_ cop friends were guarding his door. I knocked them out, hoping they’d remember me and spread the rumor that a dead girl had done this. That they’d be taken for fools or nutjobs, that they’d lose their spots on the force for believing in ghosts that could kill. And oh… Royce’s face.”

A tear finally fell, and her face crumpled.

But she needed to hear this. Now that it was out, it was... therapeutic to talk about it. To finally say out loud what I’d done to him. To finally let myself think it, away from Edward’s constant censorship. 

And to give her a chance to run away. 

“Royce was holed up in a hotel room in New York. It was almost Christmas. And I climbed up four stories to reach his window.” 

I finally let myself laugh, albeit a dry and humorless one. “I was wearing the wedding dress I was fitted for the day he killed me. When I got my hands on him, I wrapped a belt — _his_ _belt_ , the one they strangled me with — around his neck and watched him turn blue. The way his eyes… they just bugged right out. And I’ve never seen a tongue go as black as his.”

Tears were streaming down her face. I looked away. 

A full thirty seconds passed before she rasped, “ _Good_.” 

Relief flooded through me. My eyes snapped back to meet hers. They were full of rage. 

“When you first told me about them,” she whispered, “I wished I could’ve killed them myself. I wanted nothing more than to rip them apart, and I was angry I couldn’t. I imagined that they grew to old age, with families, and that they’d lived happy lives that they didn’t deserve. And I’ve never been so fucking happy to be wrong.” 

A dry sob ripped from my throat. “I was so afraid… so worried that that was it. I mean, I felt like I’d been lying to you about being the safe, good vampire — “

She flapped her hands at me, sending bits of macaroni flying from her spoon. “Rosalie I don’t fucking care. _I don’t care_. You were able to do what I wish every victimized woman on earth could do to their abusers. They deserved every single bit of what you did to them and more.” 

I’d never felt so loved, so _free_. To be validated by the woman I loved, instead of regarded with pity or disgust or shame? To tell my story without being reprimanded by Edward or Carlisle for my lapse in judgment? I was almost drunk on the feeling. 

But there was still more. 

“Bella I want to hold you and kiss you and just scream from the rooftops how much I love you, but I… I still need to tell you about Alice.”

She reached across and grabbed my fingers with all the strength she could muster in her tiny human hand. 

“Before she left, she told me that she and Edward would return when there wasn’t a chance of him hurting you anymore. She said that they’d be back soon.”

Her face flickered with confusion. “What?” 

“Because,” I continued with emphasis, “she only saw one way this would end. That you’d… you would be a vampire too. With us.”

Her face froze.


	21. Conceal, Don't Feel

The silence stretched on.

After what felt like a lifetime, she released my hand, rose, and took her half-full bowl to the sink. Deliberately, she scooped it into the food disposal and ground it away under the stream of tap water. Then she rinsed the bowl, dried her hands, turned, leaned against the counter and covered her face with her hands.

My throat felt dry. "I could — "

"Rose, no."

Her voice was firm and soft, but underneath there was an undercurrent of tension. She still hid her face.

I rose to my feet. This was it. This is where Bella decided, and Alice's vision would change and Bella could live, we'd all live and keep on going as we had been, as if nothing had happened, as if I'd never loved a human in my life...

She didn't move as I left the kitchen. I stooped to retrieve her blanket, then draped it over the arm on her side of the couch. I rolled down the sleeves of my sweater, absentmindedly, then went on to the entryway to put on my boots.

The mud on them had dried. It had flaked off onto the linoleum in the otherwise spotless entryway. When I opened the door, I saw her own boots placed outside by the step — silly me, I should've taken the hint. I knocked the mud off of them on her front step, set my boots beside hers, then returned to the indoors.

A broom. I needed a broom.

There was just one closet in her house, in a hallway that I presumed led down to her bedroom. A spike of shame skewered me — I should've carried her back there, not laid her down unceremoniously on the floor. She deserved better love than what I gave her.

The closet held a coat, a vacuum, and a cheap, plastic broom with an even cheaper plastic dustpan clipped onto it. I grabbed the broom and pan and returned to the entryway.

Bella still hadn't moved.

But that's okay. She didn't need to speak.

One pass with the broom. Two passes with the broom. Sweep, sweep, then — there. All the dirt was in the dustpan.

I went to the kitchen and dropped the dirt in the trash.

_Return the broom. Remember to close the closet. There._

And I was back in the entryway.

_Stop stalling. Just go._

But I hadn't managed to get all the mud. A fine residue remained, one that could only be cleaned with a mop or a wet rag.

I was back in the kitchen. Bella still hadn't moved.

_That's fine._

I opened a drawer. Pans. Another drawer. Tupperware. Another drawer.

_Ah. Towels and rags._

But Bella still stood in front of the sink.

_So I'll find the bathroom._

There was one in the same hallway that led to her bedroom. It was dated, with pink tiles and a seashell themed sink vanity, but it was pretty in a nostalgic way. I wet my rag in the sink.

Entryway.

I got to my knees, damp rag in hand, and scrubbed at the sheen of dirt I'd left behind. I needed to get every sign of my passage cleaned.

_Leave no trace._

Then the linoleum was spotless.

I folded the rag, unsure of what to do with it, then decided I didn't have it in me to go looking for the washing machine.

It was just a rag. Just a bit of torn t-shirt.

So I rose, opened the door, shoved my feet into my boots, and left with the rag in hand.

Even wet and dirty, it smelled so strongly of her.

* * *

I'd never wished more that I could cry.

I only ever felt okay when I was running, or when I was with Bella, but now I just had the one. So the one would have to do.

I took off for Canada.

I texted Esme first, then Alice. Esme was wild with curiosity, but knew better than to ask why I was disappearing into the Canadian bush. Alice, however, was a different story.

_This is highly irregular, Rose._

Branches whizzed by. I texted and ran without a care. _Do you know me at all? I don't know how to manage this, so I'll run away instead._

_But what went wrong?_

A dropoff. I crashed down it, hoping to be buried, and taking off again in a fit of rage when I only took a tree down with me.

_I fucked up._

I could almost hear the scoff in her tone when she replied, _Of course you did. But how badly?_

Fuck you, Alice. _I told her. I told her everything. About Royce, about my murder spree, and about your visions._

A full fifteen minutes went by before she texted me again. I was already in the depths of Saskatchewan, my sweater torn nearly to shreds, my leggings worn through the knees.

_But nothing about my visions have changed._

I didn't dare to hope. _You're too far away to see her change her mind._

The phone rang almost as soon as I hit send. I swiped to answer the call almost too aggressively.

"What?"

"Rosalie."

_Edward._

"How much did she tell you?"

He chuckled on the other end of the line. "She didn't need to. I was close by. And I can confirm, I haven't seen her visions change."

Relief started to edge its way in, but I still felt weighed down by fear and horrible, horrible shame.

"Edward," I whispered, slowing to a standstill on a frozen lake, "I think I ruined everything."

His voice was surprisingly tender. "You didn't ruin everything."

"But I told her all of it. She understood why I killed them, was glad, even, but… the minute I mentioned her becoming like me she shut down."

He was silent for a beat. "Rose, you were so worried about how she would react to your past that you didn't prepare for how she would react to her future. What you did to Royce is done, so it's easier for her to accept. But her future? It's understandable that she should be taken off guard."

I looked down at my feet. The boots got ditched hundreds of miles ago, and I'd worn through my socks. My naked toes dug into the hoarfrost on the surface of the ice.

"What if she doesn't speak to me again?"

My stammering question skipped across the lake, freezing and dying in the great expanse. The air ate it up. I wished it would eat me up too.

"She will," Edward said. "I'm sure of it."


	22. The Tailor

I’d reached glaciers by the time I shook myself out of it.

_What’s wrong with you? She loves you. Just text her to make sure she’s alright._

But did she love me?

She hadn’t said it yet. And I technically had twice already.

_Stop it, you idiot. Those stupid metrics are just performative at this point. And it’s okay if you’re the one who loves her more. She’s just human after all._

My own thoughts stabbed me like an icicle through the gut. _She’ll never be ‘just a human.’ Not to me._

I turned, feet buried in a skidding snowdrift, and looked back towards home. The northern lights ribboned in the black sky above in blues and greens. I wished she could see them with me. 

Just as I took a step back towards Forks, my pocket buzzed.

_Rose._

It was her. The breath whooshed out of me.

_Rose, I’m sorry for shutting down today. That was just a whole lot at once._

My limbs unfroze. It was okay, everything was gonna be okay, this sounded good —

_I think I’m gonna need some time. Please give me space for a while._

And the shame came rushing back in, turning my arms and legs to lead.

I stood, staring down at my phone, for what could’ve been five minutes or the entire night. The screen frosted over gradually, with little fractals forming at the edges and creeping inward, framing her words until they blurred out. 

_But at least she felt like she could tell me. She didn’t just disappear._

But how much space is… space? How long is a while?

My thumbs danced across the screen in a sudden flurry, typing up a wall of text then deleting it just as fast. I wanted to tell her how I felt, how much she meant to me, how afraid I was, how excruciating it was to tell her about Alice’s vision, knowing that she had a life and a family that she loved already, and how much more excruciating it was to imagine a life where she grew old and died without me.

But in the end, all I sent was, _Thank you for telling me. I’ll still be here when you’re ready._

Then I dialed a number I memorized long ago. He’d managed to keep it since the invention of phone numbers, somehow, and it wasn’t enabled with texts.

But I needed to hear his voice anyway.

It rang twice. “Hello?”

“Carlisle,” I sighed.

“Oh, my dear. Esme told me what she knew. Are you alright?”

His voice was so gentle, lilting in the slightest of English accents that he hadn’t managed to erase entirely. It made my nerves feel raw and exposed.

“I’m… not sure, to be honest. Bella asked me for space.”

He paused, then continued very carefully. “That sounds promising, Kitty. It takes a certain amount of trust to ask someone for that.”

I scuffed my foot against the ground. “But what if she likes her time without me better? What if she decides this isn’t what she wants?”

“Then that’s what she decides, and you’ll have to honor it.”

The ground swam. 

“Rosalie, _you will have to_.”

“But… but what if she’s to me what Esme is to you? Could you let her go so easily?”

He paused for a beat, then whispered, _“_ Yes.”

I thought back to how he’d found her. A broken, battered postpartum woman on a slab, ready for autopsy. Barely alive, barely held on long enough to turn. And when she woke, the stories she’d told…

“After what she’d gone through with… that _monster_ , I could never hold her against her will. No matter how much I loved her.”

“I know, Carlisle.”

“And I know you couldn’t do that to Bella either. Humans heal and humans move on, and we… don’t. But that doesn’t give us the right to make decisions for them.”

The phone crackled in the silence for a moment.

“But,” he said, a smile in his tone, “I don’t think you’ll be without her for long. Just be patient. That’s the best way to show her you love her right now.”

I sighed. “Okay. I’m coming home, now.”

“Good. I’ve missed you, my girl.”

* * *

The ground turned from snow into marsh into pine needles into dewy ferns, and I reached home just as the sun was dipping below the horizon behind a haze of clouds. Emmett came barrelling out the front door to crash into me as I rounded the curve.

“Ahh, Rose!”

I giggled as he swept me around in a circle, letting my legs swing. “I was only gone a couple days.”

“Yeah, but I miss when you bitch at me.”

He set me down and I biffed the back of his curly-haired head with my open hand. “Hey!”

He shrugged affably. “It’s an important part of my day.”

“Hey, blondie here missed your bitching too,” a low voice drawled. 

Jasper appeared like a ghost, winding one arm around Emmett’s thick waist. His goatee was groomed into a different shape than usual — both moustache tips waxed into upward curls, the beard slicked to a point. 

“You guys going out?” I asked.

Jasper smiled up at Emmett. “We’re going to see the community theater production of _Fiddler on the Roof_. Do you want to come?”

I almost said no. I almost decided to isolate in my garage with my tools and greasy coveralls until Bella decided she wanted to talk to me again. But…

“Yeah, I actually do,” I said, a smile creeping across my face. “Just let me say bye to Esme and Carlisle first. And change out of my rags.”

* * *

It was good to be clean again, dressed in proper clothes — crisp slacks, Louboutins, and a flowing, shimmering blue halter top that left little to the imagination — and driving my red jewel of a BMW. Jasper sat up front with me while Emmett crouched in the back seat.

The Rainforest Arts Center was a funky building, all wood and warped curves, and the parking lot already neared capacity. People flooded the entrance, and as I parked I could feel excitement mounting. It had been a long time since I’d done anything so… _human._

We paid and took our spots, the familiar joy of Going Out filling the hole in my chest. Within fifteen minutes, the curtains rose on a bleak, Russian-themed set and Tevye the Dairyman began to sing.

Attending shows with Jasper was always wonderful. He fanned the enjoyment of the audience just enough to help them laugh and gasp at the right spots, and he calmed the jitters of nervous cast members and bolstered the confidence of the shy ones. The shows he attended were always the best performances the actors could possibly pull off. 

The eldest of Tevye’s daughters was played by a shy girl — Angela Weber, I thought — and Jasper really brought out the actress within her. She entered from stage right and gradually became more and more confident in her role, and I was surprised to note that she had a gorgeous singing voice.

I looked forward most to seeing the Tailor, Motel Kamzoil. There was just always something about his lanky awkwardness and effusive sincerity that filled me with fondness…

Ah, there he was, joining the family for Sabbath… and he was familiar. His hair was dark and his skin even darker, but his eyes were the ones I could never forget.

Beau Swan. 

“Ah fuck,” I whispered. 

Jasper spotted him, then reached out and grasped my hand tightly. The panic rising in my throat slowly subsided.

I eyed him. “You don’t need to do that, you know. You’ve got actors to worry about.”

“They’re fine for now,” he murmured. 

Emmett leaned into Jasper’s space. “We could go at intermission if you want.”

I swelled with gratitude. “No, no, it’s okay. You guys wanted to see the show, so we’ll see the show. I’m the one crashing your date, so I don’t call the shots.”

Emmett’s brows pulled together, but he sat back without another peep.

Bella would be here to see her brother. They were that kind of family. Mr Swan was probably here too, as much as it probably irritated him. I wanted to peek around the rest of the audience, desperately, but I didn’t dare. I didn’t want her to think I’d come just to catch a glimpse of her.

_Maybe I should sneak out at intermission after all. Sneak the BMW keys into Jasper’s pocket and just run home._

Oh no, I couldn’t do that. I was in fucking Louboutins. 

So I settled for the next best thing to rubbernecking. I honed in on the scents in the room, trying to pick hers out from the rest.

As always in a roomful of humans, I detected much more sweat than I cared to. I caught the lovely odors of week old socks, unwashed ass, dirty diapers, leaking breasts, at least twenty women on their periods, and another ten who’d apparently played a rousing session of Try to Cum Before He Finishes. From the smell of it, only three of the ladies had. 

Then, between scenes four and five, a new smell washed through the crowd.

Jasper and Emmett must have caught it too — both their backs straightened, and their automatic human “act” dropped as they went stock still. 

Another vampire was here. Maybe more than one.

I side-eyed Jasper. His hand, clasped over mine, loosened, and he tapped his pointer finger once… twice… three times in quick succession… 

_Morse code. Ugh, fine._

I pieced it together. _There are two. Males. They do not feel hungry. They are just here_ —

“For _fun?_ ” I whispered incredulously. 

His hand tightened again, warningly this time. Tap, tap. _Behind you._

And a long, lanky man slid into the empty seat beside me, reeking of musk and sea salt. 

“Hello, sister,” he muttered lazily.

My jaw was as taut as a steel wire. 

“And _brothers_ ,” he continued, amusement in his tone. He inclined his blonde head to Jasper and Emmett. “It’s not often I find others who… enjoy such human things as I do.”

I felt another presence just behind me as the other sat in another empty seat. A black hand reached forward and clasped the blonde’s shoulder.

“Don’t mind James, now, my friends,” said the newcomer. His tone was warmer. Friendlier.

They’d spoken too quickly, too low, for humans to overhear us, but the proximity was anxiety-inducing. It felt dangerous. Too exposed.

I turned slightly in my seat. The vampire behind us was as long and lean as his companion, maybe only slightly shorter, and wore long black dreads and a jacket with jeans. His smile was amicable, eyes a ruby red.

The human beside him leaned away, most likely subconsciously. Humans didn’t come near us if they could help it. I was surprised at how easily these two acted around their natural prey. 

“I am Laurent,” the dark one said. “We’re just here to see the show before we move on. We didn’t realize this territory was claimed.”

I inclined my head. I didn’t bother to correct them. “I am Rosalie. These are my brothers, Emmett and Jasper.”

Each nodded when their name was said, but they otherwise remained still. 

“Lovely, lovely. And who is the coven head?” James said.

My teeth ground together. Jasper was the one who answered.

“He is Carlisle Cullen,” he murmured, still quiet enough not to be overheard. “And our matriarch is Esme Cullen, his mate.”

James nodded. “That’s quite a large coven. Do you integrate among humans like this often? We only take the risk to attend the shows, you see.”

“We choose to live among them,” I replied, tone sharp. “We have a permanent residence nearby.”

Laurent was taken aback. “Permanent, you say?”

“Yes,” Emmett said, eyes darting to mine and then away. “In fact, once the show is over, you are welcome to come back with us and visit our home.”

I fixed James with a pointed look. “It would be rude of us not to wish you farewell before you left our lands.”

Laurent inclined his head. “We would be delighted. We have a third, Victoria, who will join us after the performance.”

With that, he reclined in his seat. James also turned his attention to the actors onstage.

* * *

I didn’t catch much of the show after that. I was too focused on trying to locate Bella’s scent, but James and Laurent drowned out much of the human aroma around us. Intermission came and went, then act two. 

I wish I could’ve properly enjoyed Beau’s performance. I’m positive he was wonderful. But everything in me was screaming, my mind going a million miles a minute, mapping out every exit, every human in our way, all the witnesses in case something went wrong…

And if Bella got caught in the crossfire, I don’t know how I’d live with myself.

_No. Don’t think about that. The ultimate goal is to get these two as far away from her as possible and set them on their way._

The curtains closed for the final time, and before the cast emerged for their final round of applause I was already on my feet. I extended a hand to James.

“Shall we go?” My voice was tight.

He looked surprised, but covered it quickly. “Certainly. Lead the way, sister.”

I nodded, and stepped out into the aisle before any of the humans had even gathered their things. James fell into step behind me, then Laurent, and to my relief Jasper and Emmett took up the rear.

The door was so near. Just a few steps, and these two would be extracted from a disaster waiting to happen. Just a few more rows of seated people —

But.... there she was. Just one row from the rear, in an aisle seat beside her father, was Bella. 

Her eyes rose to meet mine, and for the first time they seemed cold and distant. Then they flicked behind me, saw the red-eyed vampires in my wake, and widened in obvious fear.

Her heart _thump, thump, thumped_ in my ears.

I wished I could tell her that I was taking them away. That they weren’t my friends, that they were on their way out of town. That I was just here with my brothers, for fun, and not stalking her or missing her or longing to just take her up in my arms and never let her go —

_Oh, fuck._

The first human had opened the doors, letting new air whoosh into the space. It blew past Bella, sending her gold hoop earrings swinging, and carried her delicious scent along with it. 

A low hiss seeped from between James’s teeth. 

I didn’t mean to. I didn’t even think — blind panic crashed over me like a tsunami, wilder than anything Jasper could tame, and before I could stop I had my hand clamped around the blonde vampire’s wrist like a vise. Words spit from me that I didn’t even recognize as my own.

_“She’s not for you.”_

James glared, then wrenched his arm away from me with a growl. 

“Careful, sister,” Laurent muttered. “They are watching.”

People milled around us, most missing our little altercation. But Bella still stared. 

And James stared right back.


	23. Tracking

Staring into James's eyes, I saw so many futures at once. His ruby irises held the promise of blood — so much blood, poured from the bodies of onlookers and actors and Bella alike — and the expression in them showed that he was a man who'd stop at nothing to get what he wanted.

But, luckily for us, the Volturi was still a threat. And there were witnesses.

"James," Laurent hissed, gripping his bicep. "This is nothing to lose our heads over."

James shook him off, then turned and stalked away without another word.

Bella's eyes were still locked on my face, but I was too terrified to go to her. Laurent was still at my side, playing the part of the concerned friend mediating in an argument. My brothers stood behind us, probably wondering what in the world was going on.

And I wished I knew.

"I must apologize for James," Laurent was saying, his voice dim and distorted at the back of my mind. "He takes things so personally, and gets too interested in specific humans for his own good."

"How do you mean?" Jasper asked.

Laurent shrugged. People continued to flow by us until we stepped to the side, our conversation seemingly mundane as could be.

"Let us get back into the fresh air," Laurent recommended with a suave smile, "and I'll be more than happy to tell you."

And that's how I found myself following a rogue vampire past a stunned Bella Swan without a single word passing between us.

* * *

Outside, most cars had already cleared the parking lot. The BMW stood out as a lone red beacon at the far end. James leaned against it, along with a fiery redheaded female. If not for her hair, I would've deemed her entirely devoid of anything interesting or concerning — in fact, even now, my gaze slipped over her as if she wasn't there.

Laurent clapped me on the back like a pal, and I shot him a withering glare that had him shrinking away. _Dick should know better._

"James, Victoria!" he called. "Our friend here simply means to defend her lands. Nothing meant by it."

"Laurent, don't speak for me," I warned.

Jasper and Emmett shared a side-eyed glance.

"What she _means_ ," Jasper said pointedly, "Is that due to how integrated we are among the humans, anything going wrong at an event we attend is bound to reflect very badly upon us. We wouldn't want to move territories over a simple misunderstanding."

James raised his eyebrow, but otherwise remained unmoved. The female beside him took his hand.

"Now," Jasper continued, "we'd love to introduce you to the rest of our coven. I believe Rosalie has some loose ends she needs to wrap up here, and will join us later on. Will you run with us to our home?"

Laurent and James exchanged a look, then nodded. Emmett squeezed my hand.

And in a moment, the five of them disappeared into the treeline.

_Bella._

I scanned the parking lot and noted with relief that her massive truck was still here. She, however, hadn't emerged from the building yet. So I would start there.

The lights inside remained dimmed after the show, and a few clumps of humans lingered around the actors. A couple of them held bouquets of flowers. More than a few were exchanging a gleeful kiss.

Then I spotted Beau, standing sheepishly next to the revolving door. Tzeitel (no, Angela) had her arm looped through his, and the two of them were engaged in cheerful conversation with Mr. Swan.

But Bella was nowhere to be seen.

I waited, probably for too long. I sat instead, watching and waiting, hoping she'd emerge from her hiding place and rejoin them. There was no need to cause a panic when there was none.

_Emmett and Jasper had the nomads with them. They were probably already at the house by now, involved in an overly polite conversation with Esme and Carlisle over a quick game of something boring like Go or checkers or chess._

Beau, Mr Swan, and Angela were deep in conversation, completely oblivious, and Bella was gone. If I could've vomited, I would. The tension was mounting, and I could no longer sit and do nothing.

So after what felt like a lifetime, I stood.

I approached the Swan family cautiously. I hadn't been introduced to them yet… and had really only seen them from afar. For all I knew, Bella wasn't even out to them at all, and hadn't mentioned me.

But I had to make sure she was okay.

Beau's eyes flicked to mine as I approached. They were so much like hers.

"Oh hey! A Cullen!" he said brightly. "Rosalie, right? Hard to mistake you for anyone else, honestly."

I indulged in an awkward chuckle. "Yeah, that's me. But it's Rosalie Hale, sorry. The whole foster thing and all."

Angela nodded. "Don't worry, that makes complete sense. How did you like the show?"

"Oh, it was great!" I said, pleased that I could answer honestly for once. "I've always loved _Fiddler_. One of the most underrated shows if you ask me."

Mr Swan laughed. It was deep and homey. "Dunno about that, sweetheart. Once you've seen one of these things, you've seen them all."

"Dad!" Beau protested.

"I kid, I kid," Mr Swan said, clapping his son on the back.

"Don't listen to him," I said with a laugh. "Beau, you played my favorite character, and you played him well."

Beau beamed, and Angela rubbed his arm and looked up at him with fondness.

"He really did good, didn't he?" she said. "He's always been great in these. This was my first show, and he helped keep me from losing my nerve."

_Sure he did._

"Well, I hate to congratulate and run," I said, "But I do have to head out in a minute. Have any of you seen Bella around?"

Mr Swan's brows drew together. I could see where Bella inherited the line between her eyes. "Didn't realize you two were friends! She was just here a little while ago. Think she went to the bathroom. Maybe she got caught talking to someone."

_Didn't realize you two were friends._

"Well, that's alright. Just wanted to say goodbye. I guess I'll catch her later." I shook Mr Swan's hand. "Good to officially meet you. Take care."

I could see the confusion in all of their eyes, but didn't dare stay and answer the inevitable questions. There wasn't time. So I turned away, guts in turmoil. I scanned the corners of the room as I walked back towards the double doors, scared to find her and even more scared not to. I redirected as much mental energy as I could to my sense of smell — usually dampened when in public — in an attempt to track her unmistakable scent.

But when I found it, it was stale.

There was a cloud of it around the entrance to the women's restroom, but it then trailed away… towards the double doors.

I glanced out through the glass. Her truck was still parked, empty.

Then my phone buzzed.

 _Got nearly to the house,_ Emmett's text read. _But the redhead slipped away. Like a ghost. We searched and can't find a trace of her anywhere._

My stomach dropped.

_Thought all of them were with us, but when we got to the drive James took off like a shot. Laurent stayed behind voluntarily with Carlisle. Saying something about how James is a hunter, the best he's ever seen._

The phone rang.

"Give me good news," I spat, shoving my way through the doors into the misting rain.

"Kitty," Carlisle sighed. "Is Bella with you?"

My Louboutins clacked on the asphalt. "No."

" _Fuck._ "

I nearly dropped my phone. Carlisle never cursed.

"I detected her near the restroom, but the trail led outside and disappeared from there. Her truck is still here."

"Rosalie, if what this strange man has to say is true, James is a massive threat. He took your defense of Bella very personally. Apparently, this is… it's like his favorite game."

Rage rose in me like bile, paired with mounting dread.

"And if she isn't with you — "

"There's no way they could've gotten back to her so fast. I was here the entire time. Not fifteen minutes have passed — "

"Kitty, it's enough. It's enough for him."

"No. Let me try to call her."

Carlisle just sighed.

My fingers flew. The phone hummed against my ear, once, twice, then —

"Hello?"

"Oh my god, Bella."

"What's wrong?"

"Where are you?"

"I'm fine, I promise. Don't worry about me."

Her voice sounded so flat. So dead. I was on the verge of losing my mind in panic.

"Bella I swear to God, this isn't a joke. That man you saw me with, during the show? He's pissed and he's trying to find you. He's… he's like me, but the dangerous kind. Please let me know you're — "

 _Click._ "Oh, Ms Hale."

I froze. The rain ran down my skin as if it were the side of a cliff.

"You."

"Yes," the suave male voice drawled. "Me."

"James, if you touch her — "

"Too late for that. She's just a puny human after all. I could make it quick and painless."

I curled my fingers into a fist around the phone. The screen made threatening crackling sounds.

"She doesn't care about me, you know," I whispered. My chest felt like a lump of lead. "If you're trying to play some kind of sick game here — "

"Oh, it's not about whether or not she cares about you. The fact that you care about _her_ is enough."

_Goddammit, if only Edward and Alice were here, this never would have happened._

"You have one hour to find me, or sweet Bella is dead. And bring me a replacement human, if you would. I'm feeling a little peckish."

"James, you fucking — "

 _Click._ The line was dead.

My limbs were heavy. I could barely muster the strength to move my jaw enough to ask, "Did you get that?"

"Every word," Carlisle said. "Esme has the phone pinged. They're heading to Port Angeles."


	24. Holy Trinity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See notes at the end for TW

My mind felt like it was on fire.

I was home. Dimly I knew my family was assembling, gathering stealth gear, strategizing. At some point someone called Edward and Alice to let them know what was happening, and of course Alice already knew. Alice was terrified to have Edward anywhere near Bella, especially if she got hurt, but he insisted on coming anyway — he was determined to help, and knew only he and Alice could find James.

And he was right… but there wasn’t time.

I had no special powers. I let Bella get kidnapped, right out from under me. I put her in this position in the first place. And I couldn’t save her.

_ Stop. You can’t, but  _ we _ can. Together. _

I needed to do something. Anything.

“But Rose, we need a plan.”

_ We have a plan. Go to Port Angeles and rip James’s throat out. _

“Rose, no, stop.”

Jasper was holding me, cradling my head to his chest. I hadn’t even realized I was pacing and ranting until he physically stopped me. What had I even said out loud?

I finally registered the waves of exhaustion washing over me, but before they could calm me I pushed against Jasper’s chest and screamed until my voice went raw.

“She’s what keeps my fears out, she reminds me I’m more than just a freak! A murderer! She’s too good and she’s too kind and strong and sweet and understanding and I’m getting her killed. I’m getting her killed! Jasper I can’t — I can’t — “

His hands were firm on my wrists, his eyes wide and kind. I collapsed against him.

“All I’ve ever brought her is pain,” I rasped.

My body felt like it was being invaded again. The sensation of so many hands, fingernails on bare skin, rigidness stretching what had never been stretched — and the belt, tightening around my neck, choking — 

It faded as Jasper stroked my hair, each pass of his hand soothing away a new layer of my old trauma. He kissed my forehead. 

“Now,” he whispered, “Are you ready to save her?”

* * *

It was faster to get to Port Angeles on foot. 

Esme ran beside me, a mere whisper among the trees in her dark running gear. Carlisle led the way, his hand clutched around the note with the precise location of Bella’s phone when James called. 

I could only hope they were still there.

The moon rose. It took a full ten minutes to travel the fifty-five miles, even cutting through the forest. We’d taken ten minutes before that to prepare.

We’d already lost too much time. Only forty minutes now to find her.

When we reached the dim alleys and relative safety of Port Angeles’ dark corners, I found myself missing the feeling of dirt giving beneath my feet, the brush of ferns against my ankles. Here, the alleys and corners were too much like another place — one I’d rather not think about.

But that other place pressed itself, hard dick and all, against the edges of my consciousness, threatening to break through and shatter my focus again. I couldn’t afford it. I couldn’t —

Jasper’s hand pressed in the small of my back. The screaming in my ears faded. 

_ Thirty minutes. _

But why would he keep his promise? She could already be dead.

The screaming edged its way back until Jasper soothed it away again. 

Cars passed. We fell into our familiar guise of a family, merely taking a walk, until we were out of view and could run. And Alice and Edward were nowhere to be seen.

There was no way they could get here in time. It was up to us. 

Carlisle cut through an alleyway, the rest of us trailing behind him. When we emerged, he slowed to a stop — before us lay miles and miles of suburbia. Carlisle cursed again.

“I have a good idea of where they are,” he muttered, “But it’ll be tricky getting there without being seen.”

Pain lanced through my skull. “ _ Fuck _ being seen, Carlisle. None of that matters to me if she dies.”

Emmett grumbled. “Some of us will continue living if she does. The Volturi are not forgiving and you know that.”

My limbs went cold and dead, the edges of my vision frosting over. I just reached for Carlisle’s hand.

“We have twenty minutes now. Please, let me go on ahead. I know you’ll catch up when you can.”

Carlisle’s eyes were full of conflict and apologies, but he put the piece of paper in my hand without a word. On it was an address. 

I took off like a shot.

_ Twenty minutes. _

The pavement pounded away under my feet. Street lights strobed overhead in rapid succession, and the odd pedestrian light beeped. Luckily for me, the area seemed all but deserted. Most people were at home, snuggled up in front of their TVs or already tucked in bed. Just like Bella should be, right now.

_ Nearly there. _

The streets were winding, every new one looking like the one just before it. The homes were identical except for the color. Some of the only identifying features were the odd tree or shrub or decorative mailbox.

And somewhere among them, James had called me from Bella’s cell phone.

Finally, I found it. I skidded to a stop before a house, much like all the others. Painted blue, with a modest lawn and a plain porch. Calm. The lights were on, and inside I could hear laughter. Four human heartbeats. Silverware clinking against porcelain. A TV cranking up.

Bella’s scent lingered, but again, it was stale. She’d been here, but was long gone. 

My fingers balled into fists. The strength with which I clenched them made my nails screech on my skin. Every inch of me felt dead. She should’ve left me in the ground that day; I should still be there, wallowing in self pity. At least then the only person I’d be hurting was myself.

I slumped on the sidewalk, bringing my knees to my chest. My forehead landed on them, curtaining my legs with my wild hair. Bella was getting hurt. Bella was terrified. Alone. Sure she was going to die. Hoping against hope that I’d show, or maybe resigned to the fact that I wouldn’t. All her hopes and dreams for the future, dashed against the rocks.

She was dead the moment she found me.

The old terrors pressed in from the corners again, pushing and shoving and grabbing and choking. I tried to bat them away with my memories of killing them, but even those felt thin, like paper floating on top of the enormity of the ocean. Instead, I felt it all again. Shame. Humiliation. Pain. Fingers and hard cocks and sloppy mouths and every one of my openings being ripped, invaded, scratched, bitten, and — oh god — the horror of Royce, holding my hair in his fist, ramming into me again and again, his drunken laughter filling me with horror more than his dick ever could.

Then the belt, tightening, twisting, ripping my skin and crushing my windpipe, the sensation of my face swelling and my lungs hiccuping, twisting, deflating, then — the sudden darkness fell around me like a warm coat.

Floating, like a boat on a balmy sea. Everything was still. A reprieve from the bombardment of my everyday existence — the noise, the smells, the sensations, magnified a hundredfold — and sudden, unexpected peace after the onslaught of my memories.

I’d never let myself feel and recall what had happened before. Facing it, head-on, without Jasper’s help, was… illuminating. I was stronger than I thought I was.

Then, in the stillness, there was a pinprick of light. A voice, calling out.  _ Her  _ voice.

And in that very moment I knew, in my soul of souls,  _ exactly _ where Bella Swan was.

* * *

I sent the fastest of texts to Esme —  _ I know where: 301 Lopez Ave  _ — and took off. 

_ Five minutes. _

The street disappeared under my feet. A pedestrian yelped in surprise, but shook his head and kept walking. I was a mere ghost in Port Angeles tonight.

The neighborhood gradually became more and more affluent. There were older trees in the yards. The air smelled cleaner. And there —  _ right there _ — was Holy Trinity Lutheran Church.

There were no cars parked outside it. No lights were on within, but everything inside me was screaming that Bella was inside — like there was a thread tied to my waist, pulling me towards her. I took the stairs five at a time and tried the door. Unlocked.

_ Two minutes. _

I couldn’t wait for the rest of my family. I had to save her now.

The door swung on silent hinges and I crept inside, eyes alert. The entrance opened into a generous narthex, all dark wood and soaring windows, and the doors to the chapel were shut. Moonlight streamed in like veins of silver, painting the floor. In a flash my hand was on the door latch. 

Beyond, there was a voice.

“She’s going to be too late, my sweet one,” James whispered.

There was a whimper.

“Oh, still stubborn, aren't we? Is that what makes you so special to Rosalie?”

I saw red.

I was through the doors. Perhaps I broke them. The floor stretched beyond — pews, pews, and more pews — a line, stretching to a stylized trio of crosses carved in dark wood — and James, crouched over the limp form of a woman I knew was Bella, at the altar.

The thread around my waist was drawing me to the body on the floor.

I no longer thought. I no longer premeditated, or wondered, or measured my actions. My form flung across the room as if suspended by wires, slamming against James as he whipped around to face me. His teeth flashed.

I grappled him, arms around his waist, and crashed into the wooden floor, sending planks splintering. Splitting pain spread over my shoulder blade — he’d struck me — and there was a screeching roar.

Mine, I thought.

I braced my feet under us and kept one hand around his bicep, attempting to get enough room to bring my fist crashing down. He twisted, roaring, and ripped from my grasp. Pain bloomed again as he struck me in the face. I reeled, hair flying.

“You're alone,” he spat. “You're faster than the others, but not stronger.”

“Fuck you, you slimy  _ prick! _ ” I screamed, taking a flying leap at him again.

Bella’s presence burned like a brand in the back of my brain. To get to her, to make her move, smile, laugh, assure me she was okay, was all my base instincts wanted me to do — but James was twisting in my hands.  _ I was going to destroy him. _

I got my hands around his arm and wrenched with all my strength. A ripping scream tore through the room; his flesh creaked and groaned. Then he bucked and my hands were empty. I scrabbled blindly at the ground beneath me, then spun. The wreckage of the church floor was scattered everywhere. There was a flash of white, then — 

Bella screamed.

I whipped around, rage and fear poisoning me and making me slow. Bella still lay by the altar, but her body arched and writhed. James crouched over her.

His hand pressed to her leg — it was twisted,  _ fuck _ — and slammed down. Another scream. Then he lifted her arm like a delicate baby bird, looked me straight in the eyes, bared his teeth, and —

_ He sunk them into her skin. _

She was screaming and screaming and I was already across the room, blind and shaking and grasping at James. There was more screaming but it wasn’t hers, it was  _ mine _ , and I found his rock hard shoulder and struck it, grabbed at his hair, ripped at it, snagged a fistful of it, and brought him crashing down to the ground face first. 

I locked my hands again around his neck, then sat on his body and locked my legs around his shoulders. I pulled, pulled, pulled, fingers hooked under his jaw and the base of his skull, roaring as his skin creaked and his screams joined my love’s in the bleeding air — 

Then there were others, more people, surrounding us and pulling at me and my arms and screaming, shouting, taking the vampire’s body from me and I realized, blind fury receding, that I had James’s head clutched in my hands.

His jaw worked, soundlessly. 

My gaze fixed, dimmed, honed in like through a kaleidoscope, on Bella’s body beside mine. I finally was overwhelmed by the sharp tang of her blood in the air. She was writhing — eyes rolled back, mouth open and frothing, her soft black hair soaked in a spreading pool of red.

Alice appeared in my field of vision, her mouth moving. I couldn’t hear her. She took the head I still clutched in my hands.

Carlisle grabbed my shoulders and shook me. Beyond him, the dim outlines of Jasper and Emmett built a fire from the floor I destroyed. Esme and — Edward, how? — were ripping limbs and chunks of torso from what remained of James.

“ — he’s infected her,” Carlisle was saying, his voice tuning in and out like a transistor radio. “Kitty, help me stop the bleeding and she’ll survive the turning.”

I put out a limp hand. “I — I don’t want her to — “

“It’s not about what you want,” he said, his voice soft, “It’s working its way through her already. Here, hold your hand there for me.”

He pressed my outstretched hand down. It found her thigh — covered by her jeans, twitching — and I pressed until her bleeding pooled on the back of my hand. Carlisle rapidly tightened his belt just above where I gripped her. His other hand braced on her shoulder, keeping her from folding in half.

Her hand reached until it found me, then knotted in the hem of my soaked shirt. Her sobbing mouth formed my name.

Then the thread that tethered her to me snapped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Massive rape flashback TW for this chapter.


	25. Together In the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella wakes... and has some time with Rosalie to cope. She chooses a unique method to get used to her new body.

It took so long for her battered body to turn.

We took her home and laid her carefully down on the chaise lounge in my room. Carlisle administered a strong sedative so she would stop seizing and screaming, but her body remained rigid. Her eyes darted behind her closed lids. I covered her feverish body with one of my silk robes and sat on the floor beside her, fingers gripping her fragile hand, for four days. 

The time blended together — sunsets into sunrises — and the blood seeping into the fabric of the chaise lounge slowly crusted and turned brown. The thread that had connected me to her snapped when she touched me, but there was a stronger one binding us now. I loved her, so much, but I was afraid. Afraid that she’d never wake up… and almost more afraid that she would. 

When the rest of my family brought Bella home, Jasper and Emmett stayed behind to stage the crime scene. From what I heard over the subsequent days through my haze of grief and apprehension, the church was burned to the ground, erasing any evidence that Bella or anyone else had been there. As far as the Port Angeles Police were concerned, the damage was caused by a gas explosion.

I don’t know what story was being cooked up to explain Bella’s disappearance. It could potentially be very damning for our family as far as Forks and the Quileutes were concerned, but at this moment I couldn’t bring myself to care. 

Sometime within those four days Laurent returned, a dirty Victoria at his side. They spoke mostly with Carlisle and Edward in hushed tones, and Edward later came up to tell me why they came. Apparently Laurent and Victoria were a mated pair, but she would often hide behind the bluster and swagger of James when meeting other vampires. She’d disappeared before James did, believing Jasper and Emmett were leading them to their deaths — she was a paranoid little bitch, that one. But that was probably what had kept her in existence for as long as she had been. They simply offered their apologies for James and went on their way, as nomads are wont to do. I was glad they had — otherwise I may have killed them as well.

Edward and Alice stayed closest to Bella and I during those days. Edward explained that they hadn’t traveled as far north as Alaska — instead they’d remained close by, in Vancouver. Alice’s visions and Edward’s mind-reading had brought them to the church just in time to witness me ripping James’s head off.

With Bella turning, Edward managed being near her so much better. I still didn’t understand how he’d resisted in the chapel, and he hadn’t explained yet. Perhaps it was the presence of venom in her blood… or maybe he just had that much self control.

But those were questions for later.

By the second day, color had returned to Bella’s face and skin. It glowed with a dark luster that it hadn’t had before, as if made of obsidian. Her hair thickened and grew, turning from the soft, dull black cloud I was so fond of into thicker, more textured locks that shone with more depth. When I touched it, it felt more silky than soft, and her skin was no longer pocked and freckled — drawing a hand across it felt like smoothing a pane of glass. 

By the third day, Bella’s bite mark was scarred and cold to the touch. It glistened with the silvery sheen of a vampire’s skin. Her broken leg had healed, and her wounds had closed. Carlisle said, by the look of them, that James had started torturing her long before I’d arrived. I wished in my heart of hearts that I’d drawn out his death more than I had.

By the seventy-second hour, her heart thudded to a stop. Within minutes her body was cold — not how ice is cold, but how steel is cold.

Then, on the morning of the fourth day, her hand tightened around mine. She gripped so tightly that my fingers ground together like stones falling down a mountainside.

“Rose,” she whispered.

I leapt from where I’d been frozen, every nerve sending lightning strikes across my body. “Bella! Bella, I’m here.”

Her eyes flickered open. They shone like garnets in her skull. She stared at me, confusion turning into comprehension — 

Then she drew my hand, which she still held, to her lips. 

“Bella,” I rasped, a sob threatening to choke me, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t get there fast enough — “

“No,” she said sharply, “you didn’t.”

If my heart could’ve stopped again, it would now.

Her eyes fixed on mine, her expression inscrutable. “But… this was how it was going to be all along, wasn’t it?”

My gut twisted. “It shouldn’t have been. I shouldn’t have let it. I could’ve gone away, we all could, drawing the other vampires away with us, and you could have _lived_ — “

She sat up, much too fast, until she was inches from my face. She was crushing my hand in her grip. When she spoke, her teeth were even more perfect and white than before, and her voice rang like a bell.

“There’s no living,” she spat, “without you.”

I stared. “Bella, what — “

And she kissed me.

Kissing this Bella was different. She was so much stronger, less breakable, but there was a certain feral element to it that wasn’t there before. My lips molded to hers, instead of hers to mine, and her mouth tasted like forgiveness. Her signature scent — flowers and spice — had been concentrated to an unbearable sweetness. I lost myself in her. 

She pulled away, just for a moment, and in that moment I sobbed her name. She touched my lower lip with her thumb, breathing heavily.

“I’ve never felt so alive,” she said, exultant. “This is how kissing you was always meant to feel.”

Thrills ran over my skin, but guilt still sank its ugly teeth into my gut. “But — Bella, you wanted space. This isn’t what you wanted — “

“Like fuck it wasn’t what I wanted!” she said, suddenly intense. She pulled away just enough to look into my eyes, holding my face firmly between her hands. 

“Rosalie,” she whispered, “I asked for space because I was afraid. I’ve never had much of a plan for my life. I work at the same place as my dad, I live in a tiny house in the middle of nowhere, and have a bookshelf full of novels I’ll probably never read. And change is scary. Especially permanent change. I didn’t deal with it as well as I could have.”

I just stroked her side. “Well… neither did I.”

“No,” she chuckled, “ and I’d be lying if I didn’t hope, just a little, that you’d fight to stick around. At least argue with me a little when I pushed you away.”

“B-but I wanted to respect what you wanted!” I stammered.

She shut me up with another kiss, her hands inescapably strong. She drew back, inhaling deeply. 

“I could get used to being strong enough to push you around.” she said, voice husky and dark. 

She inhaled again, leaning forward to graze her nose along the edge of my ear. I shuddered. 

“Mmm,” she hummed. “Your smell is so much stronger. I can pick apart each little note. And touching you… I can feel every thread in your clothes.”

She trailed her hand through my hair. “Every hair as it runs through my fingers.”

I shivered. “I didn’t have a chance to prepare you for this.”

“Why should I be afforded a luxury none of you had?” 

She drew her nose down from my ear to trace my collarbone. My skin felt like it was on fire. 

“I — I was going to do what I could to make this different. I wanted to prepare you.”

She kissed the hollow at the base of my throat. “Now that I’m awake? Now that I’ve felt what it is to change? There wouldn’t have been any preparing me for this. I never would’ve been ready.”

She drew back to look at me again. “Just like I wasn’t ready for how intensely I’ve fallen in love with you.”

There was so much joy inside me I thought it would burst through my skin. I couldn’t speak, so I just lunged for her mouth. 

We kissed as if we wanted to consume one another. Her hands were in my hair and mine were locked around her waist, raking down over her tattered clothes until I could grip her ass and lift her into my lap. Her tongue invaded my mouth, tracing each of my teeth, and I bit down on it, the thrill of teasing her without hurting her running over every inch of my skin. She grunted and took her tongue back, just to use her own teeth to bite my lower lip. 

Her hands moved from my hair, down my back, then one traced down my side, the side of my thigh, until she drew it into my lap and began searching until — 

I gasped when she found my groin and pressed through my clothes. 

“Bella, Bella,” I moaned into her mouth, “you just woke up. Let’s get you clean.”

She ground her hand into me until I yelped and my hips jerked involuntarily. “But I’m so hungry for you.”

I wanted her to. I really did. 

“There’s more than enough time for that,” I sighed, regretful. “Hundreds of years of time, if you want. But let me take care of you first.”

She pulled back again and looked into my eyes. Hers were full of lust, and her parted lips wet with our shared venom. 

“Come on,” I whispered, drawing her up to her feet.

The house sounded empty. I wondered briefly if the family conspired to have it so once she woke. How kind of them — or, depending on the mood she awoke in, maybe sensible. This was not a scenario I was betting on. 

But Alice probably saw it. I winced as I imagined all the “things” she must see, and how she could possibly face any of us with a straight face afterwards.

I guided Bella to the master bath connected to my bedroom. Inside was a huge clawfoot tub, surrounded by trailing potted plants and dried eucalyptus in vases, and not much else besides the tiled floor and frosted glass window. Bella regarded the tub with a cocked head. 

I noted her confused expression. “I like to soak in the tub for a little warmth. It’s a… luxury I indulge in once I’m done working on my cars.”

Bella blinked. “You work on cars?”

A slow smile spread across my face. “I guess we still have a lot to learn about each other, huh?”

“Apparently,” she huffed in faked annoyance. “How dare you get even hotter.”

If I could blush, I would have. 

Instead of speaking, I trailed my fingers along her hip until I caught the hem of her shirt. She raised her arms so I could lift it over her head, then unhooked her bra herself and threw it unceremoniously across the room. In two more motions her pants and underwear followed suit.

She was beautiful before, but even more stunning now. A rogue ray of sunlight found its way through the windowpane and danced across the perfect skin of her breast — instead of refracting into splintered rainbows, her skin glowed with the iridescence of a fire opal. She stared at the sunlight on her skin with her mouth open.

“I… is this supposed to happen?” 

I simply stepped forward into the light myself. The room filled with the reflected bits of rainbow that danced off my face and hands. 

“Vampires don’t burn in the sun,” I murmured. “We shine.”

She stared at me, her crimson eyes full of wonder. She took my hand and stared at it, comparing the way the light danced on me to the way it seemed to sink into her. The sun continued to rise, and more sunlight streamed in until her entire torso glowed, as if magma ran under her skin. 

“You’re so beautiful, Bella.”

She stared into my eyes. “Well, this doesn’t seem fair, does it?”

I blinked. “What do you mean?”

Her gaze turned coy. “This is the second time you’ve seen me naked. And I haven’t gotten a single chance to see _you_ naked.”

I froze.

The last time someone saw me naked —

_It’s alright. You can think it now._

Royce was raping me. 

Yes. That had happened. And I’d faced it. What happened couldn’t hold me hostage anymore.

I crossed my arms and hooked the hem of my shirt, lifting it up and over my head in one swift motion. Her eyes followed as I traced my fingers down my bra straps, over the cups, then unhooked the bra from the center and let it trail down my arms. She stared wide-eyed at my breasts — small, but perky — then followed my hands again as I stripped black leggings from my lower half, one leg at a time. 

Finally, I stood naked in front of Bella Swan.

“God,” she gasped. Her nipples were fully erect.

I turned away, embarrassed, and turned on the water, testing it until it felt warm enough. Then I began gathering soaps, bubbles, and the lavender-scented oil I liked to add to bathwater. 

“I have a couple other things to warn you about,” I said.

“Uh huh.” She sounded distracted.

I busied myself with preparing the bath, self-conscious. “You’re probably mindlessly thirsty right now. Does your throat hurt? It will probably bother you until you get accustomed to feeding.”

“Oh. Um… it’s not that bad?”

I turned, frowning. “Not that bad?”

She nodded and crossed her arms over her ample chest. “I’m… bothered, but not unduly so.”

I stared. “That’s unusual.”

She winced. “Um… animals, right?”

“Only if you wish. I won’t force you to eat the way I do.”

She emphatically shook her head. “I want to.”

She wandered, busying herself by looking around the bathroom. Then she found the mirror and jumped. I watched as she stared at herself, her expression changing from amazement to horror.

“My… my eyes…”

I reached out and touched her arm. “We all started that way. If you consume animals like we do, they’ll become gold like mine in a few months.”

“They look like… like _his_ eyes.”

My grip tightened. “You’re nothing like him. And you never will be.”

She began to tremble. I took her in my arms, and she turned her face to bury it in the curve of my neck. 

“He… he hurt me. For almost twenty minutes or so until you got there. But the memories are getting hazy.”

“Your human memories will fade,” I said softly. “Even the ones of him.”

She froze. “Oh my god, Charlie! Beau! I have to — “ She trailed off, realization dawning. “I can’t talk to them again, can I? Or see them again.”

I stroked her arm. “I don’t think it would be wise. You’re so new, you could hurt them accidentally. And they’d be able to tell that… that you’d changed.”

“So… so what’s the story?”

“I don’t know. Part of me doesn’t care. I’m just glad you’re… you’re here, existing still. But we may have to leave Forks.”

She nodded, then glanced at the tub. “I think I’d like to wash now. But… don’t leave me.”

I didn’t reply. I just guided her to the tub and watched as she moved, too fast, too accurately, into it and sank into the deep water. I shut off the tap. Then I stepped into the tub myself, washcloth in hand, and settled behind her. She sat back against me, sitting in the space between my legs. Her crimson eyes closed as I wet the cloth and started to wash her arms and legs. 

I bathed her, quietly and gently, until her muscles relaxed. The sun moved incrementally until it was high in the sky, trailing its fiery fingers across the surface of the water. Most of the bubbles were gone when Bella spoke again.

“I can’t cry. I want to cry.”

I squeezed her and kissed the top of her head. “We can’t. It’s one of my greatest frustrations.”

She shook her head. Then she froze again.

“Rose, how did you find me?”

I thought back to the moment I knew where she was, the moment the thread formed. “I… just knew. Carlisle tracked the phone call James made from your phone, but the trail ended there. I had a breakdown on that very spot, going through my abuse in my head again… but for the first time I let myself relive it. Beyond that was a dark kind of peace I’ve never had before. And in that peace, I _felt_ you. I _knew_ where you were.”

She traced swirls on my arm in the soap suds. “You’ve met Beau. Can you feel where he is?”

I frowned, but closed my eyes. The warm feeling dropped over me again, complete with a dimmed sense of smell and hearing. Then —

“He’s at the police station, with your dad. He feels… mournful.”

She was silent again for a moment, then said, “Remember when you said some of your family have special powers? You never said what yours was.”

“I don’t have — “

The very real feeling of Beau, present and grieving in my mind, lingered. I consciously let him go, and almost _physically_ felt a thread connecting us snap. 

“Oh.”

“You can find people,” she said, a smile in her voice. “You let yourself grieve what happened to you, and you unblocked whatever was keeping you from accessing your power. And because of that, you saved me.”

I rubbed the washcloth up and down her arm again before dropping it into the water with a _plop._

“Will… will _I_ have a power?”

“Probably. Everyone brings something with them from their human life,” I explained. “Carlisle brought compassion. Esme brought her capacity to make others feel loved. Emmett brought his strength. And, for a long time, I thought all I brought were my superior good looks.”

Bella laughed at the snide way I said the final part of that sentence. Then she leaned forward and pulled the plug from the drain. We rinsed our bodies of soap, then gracefully exited the tub and towelled dry. 

“Alice brought in some clothes for you to wear once you woke up,” I said. “Pretty sure she got you a whole wardrobe while you were unconscious.”

Bella hesitated, then trailed a finger up my arm until she reached my neck. She leaned in, eyes half-lidded, and pressed a soft kiss to my cheek. Then she backed up into my bedroom, gaze fixed on me in the most alluring of ways.

The chaise lounge was still bloody and draped with the discarded silk robe. Beside it was a pile of plush pillows in place of a bed, which I usually used to curl up in while I read. Bella reclined on these pillows, eyes still fixed on me, then spread her legs wide. 

“Rosalie,” she murmured, “I think there was something you said you wanted to taste?”

Electricity buzzed through me from head to toe. I paused only long enough to sweep my long hair into a ponytail, then dropped to my hands and knees. 

“I think you might be right,” I whispered, prowling closer. A low growl rumbled unbidden from my chest.

Her breasts began to rise and fall. She reached a hand up to cup one of them, twirling the nipple between her fingers and releasing the sweetest of moans. I had a glorious, direct view of her cunt in all its glory. Its dark folds, perfect and open in their symmetry, culminated in an adorable hooded clit. She already looked slick with want.

In a moment, I was upon her. I kissed her left knee, then continued, laying a trail of worship down the inside of her thigh. Her skin was still warm from the bath. She jumped, squealing, when I laid my mouth on her outer lip, and let her head drop back when I blew my cold breath over her wet pussy. 

“Rosalie,” she hissed, “it was so intense the first time you touched me, but this? I didn’t know my skin could _feel_ like this.”

I hummed against the skin where her thigh flowed into her groin, sending shivers through her body. “I didn’t know I could make you feel this good. I can’t wait to find new things you like.”

A laugh of pure joy bubbled from her throat. “Rose, we have so much time to find out.”

I growled against her skin, making her giggle, then grazed my teeth along the side of her slit until she moaned. I teased her soft folds and took their paper thin delicacy between my lips. Teasing them, I looked up into her eyes when she tucked her chin to stare, and growled again when she bit her lip and drew her eyebrows together in an expression of pure erotic bliss. Only then did I flatten my tongue against her opening and press into her core.

God, she tasted just like I imagined she would.

I couldn’t stand the teasing anymore. My tongue pressed and pressed until she screamed, then I brought the pressure upwards until I could wrap my lips around her clit and suck. Her hands slammed down to the ground on either side of her hips, and when I looked up all I could see were her beautiful, heaving breasts, the plane of her straining neck, and her chin, pointed towards the ceiling. A shuddering moan ripped from her throat. 

I worked my tongue on her clit, flicking it back and forth as I sucked. Bella seemed to melt, her cries becoming more feverish, until I brought up my right hand and pressed two fingers against her entrance. Her head snapped up and she brought one hand to knot in my hair, eyes glowing with need and desperation, and when I fixed my eyes on hers she whimpered. Slowly, eyes never leaving hers, I pressed my fingers inside her. 

Her mouth dropped open, silently, her brows still drawn up and together. A plaintive wail emerged when I began to thrust, incrementally increasing my speed, until her body was rocking with the force of it. She began to beg.

“Rosalie, oh _god_ , don’t stop don’t stop _don’t stop_ ,” she gasped. “Fuck, I’m _cominggggg —_ ”

One thrust. Two thrusts. Then her walls clenched, more powerfully than the first time, and when I released her clit with a pop her eyes flew open and — 

A powerful gush of fluid — venom, just as her saliva was — sprayed over my hand and face. My own groin roared with need, and I closed my mouth over her cunt as she came again. It smelled and tasted sweet, just like her. Exultation flooded every inch of me, because _I_ did this. _I made her feel this good._

I swallowed, then she was pushing me off her, taking me in her arms, feverishly kissing every inch of my face and neck. I groaned as she shoved me back on the pillows, her newborn strength giving her an unfair advantage, then moaning with delight as she took her kisses southward. She took my breasts into her hands, regarding them as if they were precious, then licked each nipple once before glancing up to look into my eyes. 

“Every moment after you made love to me,” she said, voice smooth as velvet, “even after I asked you to leave, I imagined what I’d do to you once I saw you again. I would lick — “ _Lick._ “And suck — “ _Fuck._ “these gorgeous nipples until you begged me to touch your soaking wet pussy.”

I felt like sobbing. “Please, Bella, _please._ ”

Her eyes were coy. “Please _what?_ ”

“Please touch me.”

“Oh? Like this?”

She put on an innocent face, then leaned down to kiss my nipple. I lurched against her mouth, but she just tutted and kissed the underside of my breast, then my sternum, my belly, circled her tongue in my belly button — _oh, fuck_ — then tucked her nose into my curly blonde bush and inhaled.

_“Fuck_ , Rosalie, you smell good enough to eat.”

I whimpered. 

She trailed her nose down until she found the top of my slit, then — 

“Oh, _fuck_ , Bella!”

She wrapped her lips around my clit without preamble, aggressively dancing her tongue against it until I screamed. I found myself pushing against her head, bringing my thighs together against her ears, begging her to go easy, but she just growled and pushed me down. 

Then, as suddenly as she started, she released me. My hips followed her and I whimpered at the loss of sensation. She just sat back and grinned. 

“Rose,” she finally said. “There’s something I’d like to try. And since both of us are indestructible…”

I raised my eyebrows, but my body was so hypersensitive. I needed release and I needed it now. 

“Anything you want,” I gasped.

She reached forward and gently pressed her palm to my cunt. I moaned and stared plaintively into her eyes. 

“Say… ‘avalanche’ if it becomes too much, okay?” she said with a wink. I just nodded.

Then a finger pressed into my slick hole, followed by a second. A guttural groan ripped from my throat. Bella stared into my eyes, expression intense and serious, She let me get accustomed to two fingers, then she began to thrust much like I had. 

I let my head fall back, overcome. Waves of arousal ran over every inch of me, triggered by the odd brush of Bella’s knuckle against my clit as well as the delicious pressure of her hand, and before long I was moaning uncontrollably. 

Then she added a third finger. I released a shuddering breath, surprised, but _fuck_ it felt good. A few more thrusts, then there was a fourth digit, and I was so fucking full. I stretched around Bella’s dainty hand, my need for pressure met, yet it still wasn’t enough. 

I raised my head again to stare into Bella’s eyes, realizing what she wanted to do. She met my gaze, unfazed, and pressed her thumb against my opening. With a beatific grin, she shoved the thumb home.

The girth was incredible. She was pushing, pushing, and I had the widest part of her knuckles inside me. I gripped my thighs, almost overcome, not knowing if I needed the motion of her fingers or something on my clit. But then, lubed with my own arousal, Bella’s hand slid fully inside me. She formed a fist.

Whatever connected my mouth to my brain broke. I just stared into Bella’s eyes, mouth agape, trusting her completely and feeling fully open to her. She smiled, genuinely, and rocked her hand inside me.

It’s what I didn’t know I needed.

Bella only rocked her fist inside me once, twice, three more times before the waves of pleasure began to crest over me, making my eyes roll back in my head. My body shook, locked in orgasm, and I raised my right hand to rub my clit just a few times to keep the waves rolling. I clenched down, hard, around Bella’s hand more times than I could count. 

It took a moment or two for me to realize I was sobbing.

When the waves receded, Bella gently withdrew her hand from my body. I felt strangely empty and melancholy without it. I reached for her and drew her against my body with a thud, loving the way she relaxed against me and tucked her face to kiss my ear, my neck, my cheek. 

She rode the throes of pleasure down with me, whispering sweet nothings into my ear. Most of all, she told me that she loved me.


	26. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rosalie and Bella attend a funeral, the Cullens have an unexpected guest, and Bella comes to terms with her future.

Rosalie tried to keep me home, but I wanted one last glance at my family.

 _It’s too dangerous,_ she said. _They could see you,_ she said.

Nah.

Ultimately, it was Jasper who helped change her mind. The two of them had a closeness I wished I’d had with Beau — the kind where you understood each other’s jokes, each other’s needs, and stood up for one another against the rest of the family.

Beau and I just argued, most of the time. Charlie and I mostly sat and watched TV in silence, ate together in silence, worked together in silence, but Beau had inherited Renee’s flair for the dramatic. That translated into fiery fights, but equally passionate Mario Kart battles. 

I didn’t know if Renee would be at my funeral or not. She usually made excuses to miss important events, and that was especially true now that she’d given Charlie custody of Beau and ran off to Europe with Phil the sportsball player. 

Rosalie had been packed full of questions about my family, my human life, my work — but the one thing she couldn’t get out of me was what kind of sport my step dad played. I couldn’t remember for the life of me, and it wasn’t really all that important. Of all people I would never see again, I’d miss Phil the least. 

I tried to imagine him, baseball cap, tanned face, bermuda shorts and all, at my funeral beside Renee. The image conflicted so much that I eventually had to drop it altogether.

“We’re almost there.”

Rosalie squeezed my hand, peeking into my eyes with a plaintive smile. Somewhere behind her golden irises lurked shame, guilt, and… pity. 

She handled the BMW’s steering wheel with her left hand, masterfully guiding it through the hairpin turns on the mountain road. She was always beautiful, but particularly so today — a special day, she’d said. She wore a purple blouse so dark it was nearly black, tailored slacks, and sensible shoes. Her hair cascaded over her left shoulder, holding their natural waves even while pinned into a careless waterfall. Her skin was so white it almost hurt to look at it, and the dark shadows under her eyes looked especially bruised in contrast. 

But for all her beauty, I couldn’t stand it when she looked at me like that. Like… she wanted to cheer me up, but her smile barely hid her guilt and self hatred behind the desire to be kind. I’d had enough.

“You know you can stop feeling bad now, right?”

_Dammit, that came out more accusatory than I meant it to._

She winced. “That obvious?”

I shrugged. I rubbed my thumb over the back of her hand, still getting used to how perfectly and smoothly my body obeyed me. “What happened happened. And it could have been so much worse. In fact, I’m kind of happy with it. Saying goodbye to Charlie and Beau would have been excruciating.”

She squeezed my hand again. “I guess I’ll always be thinking of the ways I could’ve done this better. But… I’ll get over it. I’m learning I can get over things after all.”

The corner of her mouth lifted in a crooked smile by the end of her final sentence, and when I glanced at her she winked at me. 

Carlisle had been thrilled to discover Rosalie’s newly emerged power. They’d spent the last week experimenting with it — testing range, familiarity with her target, and whether it worked across water or through mountains. It turned out she could only “find” people she’d met, however briefly, and she had a radius of about fifty miles, no matter what stood in between. 

In the meantime, Jasper and Emmett manufactured the “accident” that had killed me. The church had burned down during the time I was unconscious, and before firefighters could clear the rubble Emmett planted the body of a girl that had died only the day before. I was somewhat appalled to hear the method of their madness, but even I had to admit that it was only slightly morally wrong. Her family had already grieved her, she had a headstone for them to visit, and she’d died by natural means. It was simple enough to remove any identifying features — fingerprints, tattoos, teeth — and leave her burnt body to be found. Jasper had even retrieved my truck and left it in the parking lot of the church, complete with a suicide note on the dash, to be discovered in the following days. 

Writing that note had been difficult. I’d suffered from depression as a teenager, yes, and Charlie knew I hadn’t been feeling or acting the same in the weeks preceding. It was simple enough to sum up my motive in a few words, leaving the final sentences for some honesty: _I love you, Charlie, and I already miss you and Beau so much. But I have to go. I’m happier this way._

When we approached the graveyard, Rosalie pulled her car around to the opposite side from the funeral procession. Then she guided me up the hill and leapt onto the lower branches of a towering spruce tree.

“This should hide us and give us a good view,” she said, offering her hand.

I just grinned and took a running leap, my superior strength and agility taking me into the branches just over Rosalie’s head. She tried to stifle a girlish giggle.

We climbed until we almost reached the top, then hid among the thick curtain of needles. Just beyond, far enough away that I wouldn’t be overcome by the smell of humans, I spotted Charlie and Beau carrying a coffin.

Jake and Carlisle completed the quartet of pallbearers. Tears were streaming down Jake’s face. Renee took up the rear — she actually came! — pushing Billy Black in his wheelchair. Phil wasn’t there at all.

Something inside me healed to see Charlie and Beau. When they lowered the coffin into the ground, Charlie reached for Beau and pulled him into a hug. 

“I feel bad,” I said, “that they didn’t just cremate the body. This seems excessive. And expensive.”

Rosalie shrugged. “Charlie insisted. And… an anonymous donor covered the cost of the funeral.”

I looked askance at her, then tilted my head back in realization. “Carlisle.”

“He and Charlie knew each other pretty well by the time we met. It was the least he could do.”

The small group around the grave started to trail away. Charlie, Carlisle, and Billy stuck around, speaking animatedly, while Jake crouched to throw something — a white rose — into the open grave. His lips moved rapidly, as if he was whispering something to the coffin at the bottom of the hole. Then he stood.

I don’t know what it was — if I shifted and snapped a small branch, or if a chance breeze carried my scent — but Jake stopped in his tracks and whipped his head in our direction. Rosalie snatched at my arm. 

His searching gaze found me within seconds.

I remained stock still, hoping I was invisible among the branches. But Jake’s eyes widened, paired with a quick flare of his nostrils, and he jerked as he looked away, as if physically breaking our eye contact. He hurried to Billy’s side and whispered urgently in his ear.

“It’s time to go,” Rosalie hissed.

“What? No, we can explain — “

She gripped my knee. “We can, but not here. Remember when Edward attacked you? Jacob Black probably thinks I turned you myself and broke the treaty.”

* * *

When we pulled the BMW back up to the house, a massive wolf stood at the front steps. 

I emerged from the car, one hand held out in surrender. Rosalie slammed her door, hard, and stepped in front of me. The wolf stamped its foot, and a rumbling snarl started brewing in its chest. 

Edward’s Volvo pulled up behind Rosalie’s car, and the rest of the Cullen family joined us. The snarl turned into a ripping roar as Edward approached, hands outstretched, his copper hair nearly matching the reddish coat of the werewolf.

“Now now, you would’ve attacked by now if you really thought that,” Edward snapped.

_Oh yeah. Mind-reading powers._

“No! And thank you for not jumping to conclusions.” 

“Edward, enough with the sarcasm,” Carlisle sighed. “Please translate and let me deal with Mr Black.”

_Oh my god. Jacob._

Now that he said it, I could see the similarities between the Jake I knew and loved and this massive, horse-sized canine. The eyes, earnest and expressive, were the same. 

“No, Carlisle.”

The Cullens stared at me in surprise, and I was taken even more aback by my statement. But I knew that Jake would only listen to me. I stepped forward, hands outstretched. Jacob grumbled menacingly, but let me get closer and closer until I could lay a hand on his shoulder. The fur was deep and thick and surprisingly soft. Jacob’s massive eye was inches from my face, plaintive and hurt and confused all at once. He snuffed and shook his head.

“He says he grieved you,” Edward translated.

“I know,” I murmured. “I know and I’m so sorry. But once I turned, I couldn’t put the Cullens or my family in danger. I have to isolate until I have self control.”

Jacob whined.

“But your eyes are red. You’re a killer.”

I emphatically shook my head. “I’m not. I’m just new. I’ve never hurt a human, and after a while my eyes will be golden just like the rest of the good ones.”

Jacob blinked, regarding me with suspicion. Then he snarled again, jerking his snout at the Cullens. Rosalie took a step forward, face set as steel, but I gestured for her to stay where she was.

“He wants to know if we hurt you,” Edward said.

“No. They saved me. A traveling vampire, a nomad, named James came through town. He even watched Beau’s play. That’s where he… he smelled me, and decided I was his next meal.”

Jake stomped, his chest rumbling.

“I know, fuck him. But he’s dead. Rosalie found us and ripped his head right off. But not before he bit me.”

Jake whined.

I pressed my forehead against him. _God, he stank._ “The Cullens didn’t break the treaty, Jake. They saved me. They’re my family now — I want to be with Rosalie, for as long as I live.”

Edward chuckled darkly. “He says you’re not alive.”

My guts roiled. “Yeah, I know. But this is better than being a burnt up husk, isn’t it?”

Jake was silent, then finally just leaned against me. I took that as an agreement.

“He’s asking to step away for a bit,” Edward explained, “so he can change back. He has a few private questions. But Jacob, we’re vampires. We’re going to hear whatever you say.”

Jake’s lip peeled back over his fangs, just to show how he felt. Whatever Edward heard in his head, he chose not to translate.

Then the massive wolf stepped away. Not thirty seconds later Jacob Black emerged from the treeline, wearing a pair of worn out jogging shorts. He gestured for me to follow him as he walked away again.

Following him through the ferns reminded me of my fuzzy memories of the first time I went out with Rosalie. After a few hundred feet he turned to face me, his face soft and sad.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I should’ve told you.”

He shrugged. “I get it. I couldn’t tell you about the wolf thing. In fact I’m kinda glad Ice Barbie told you that bit.”

I scoffed and gently punched his shoulder. He still winced. “Oops, sorry. Still getting used to being strong. And if you call my girlfriend that again we’re gonna have a problem!”

He just laughed. “You really aren’t that different, I guess.”

“Nah. I’m still me.”

We fell into an awkward silence. The rain pattered softly through the branches, landing with soothing _plop_ s on the ferns. Then he reached out his arms and pouted his lips.

“Hug, please? Just promise not to suck my blood.”

I grinned and jumped into his arms, squeezing his torso but trying to remain aware of my strength. He grunted and wrapped me up tightly, his skin hot to the touch, and tucked my head under his chin. 

“You’re not in danger of having blood sucked, Jake,” I laughed. “You stink to high heaven.”

“What? I’m hurt!”

“Like a wet dog.”

He kissed the top of my head. “Yeah well you reek too.”

The silence fell again, until I huffed and said, “So what did you wanna talk about?”

I felt him grow serious. “Well, I was prepared to have to kill you when I showed up. Guess I’m still getting over the shock. And wondering how I’m going to keep this from your dad.”

“Yeah.” I tucked my nose closer to him. “I’m gonna miss them so much, Jake. Will you look out for them for me? There’s still vampires out there. The bad ones, anyway.”

He squeezed me gently. “Hell yeah, loca.”

“K. Thank you.”

He planted another kiss on my scalp and let go. We started to walk back to the house, taking our time. It was nice to tease him again, and laugh together. I was truly going to miss this crazy boy, wherever I went. I made him promise to visit me often.

“So, where are you going next?” he asked as we approached the front steps.

I shrugged. “Gonna hunker down here until it’s safe for the Cullens to move without suspicion. Maybe a year or two. Then we’re off to another cloudy place to try and fit in among people.”

“Are you worried you’ll… get bored?”

I looked up at the Cullen house. Rosalie was sitting at her window, a book in hand, and glanced up to smile and wave. She stood and stepped out of view.

“No, I’m not worried,” I said with a smile. “I’ve got Rose.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic has been a wild ride from start to finish. I began it when I lost my job for COVID reasons and became a bank teller in my hometown. I've never written a fic this long before, and worried about not finishing it, or people not liking it, or growing to hate the story. None of those things happened.
> 
> I wish I could personally thank everyone who commented and bookmarked and gave kudos, but I hope this A/N will suffice. Thank you all. You got me through a really hard time, and I'll always be grateful. I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it.
> 
> For now,
> 
> Rosella


End file.
